TO ALL THE OLDIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Find a Conversation
TO ALL THE OLDIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!
| Thu, 01-15-2004 - 5:14pm |
As my xmm's lover i have succeeded in ending my affair.
Painful is too short a word to describe what it's been like but hey...i'm still living....so i've survived.
I just thought it would be good for all the newcomers here to maybe hear our stories and see how we coped.
So this is just a call to all the 'survivors' to share their thoughts and feelings and how their lives are now.
So please all you 'oldies' from years gone by......show ur head and join me in letting the others know how we did it....
Hugs to you all.....old & new
Painful is too short a word to describe what it's been like but hey...i'm still living....so i've survived.
I just thought it would be good for all the newcomers here to maybe hear our stories and see how we coped.
So this is just a call to all the 'survivors' to share their thoughts and feelings and how their lives are now.
So please all you 'oldies' from years gone by......show ur head and join me in letting the others know how we did it....
Hugs to you all.....old & new

Hi, Katie!
What a good idea!! I'm a way old timer who has posted for over a year now. My affair ended officially over 4 months ago. If anyone has read my old posts (I read them from time to time so that I can see how far I have come!!!) they prove just how miserable I was!! I never thought I would be over this chapter in my life, but it happens. Time moves on and life never stops. I am more content in my marriage (still sorting things out, but will NEVER allow myself to fall into another affair in order to find what I am lacking in my relationship). After 2 months of depression I am finally eating better, exercising and taking better care of myself. I am taking steps to start looking and feeling better and it helps.
I lurk here quite often and I see the pain many of you are in and I have been there and know how it feels like things will never feel better, but you will!!!
Good luck to all of you,
Karry
Karry - - who is learning to embrace life on her own raising her miracle, Carley Paige
I'm sorry to have to say this but there is really no quick fix to ending an affair.But although it may take a while (a long and painful while)it can be done.
Everyone's situation is different but for me,
(i worked in the same office as my xmm) i made the decision to find a job elsewhere.
It was just too painful for me to have to endure seeing him knowing he was back with his wife,working on their marriage.I hated giving up my job as i had been working there for years and had loads of friends but i reckoned my sanity was more important than a job.
Although i miss my old friends i realise that i would never had ended the affair had i been in constant contact.
No contact works!Turn your phone off and block your emails!!!!!Please,it hurts but if i did it then you all can!I cried to my xmm and he to me loads of times and we kept saying the same thing again and again.
At the end i took his call and said "I'm not going to say the same thing again"....He said he understood.And that was that i was free.....from a love that would never be what i wanted.
The point i realised i was finally moving on came when i went to a local football match and found myself fancying one of the players.......no big deal you may say but hey to me it was.......i had never seen anyone i remotely fancied so i took that as a sign i was moving on.
To all you girls who notice a cute guy...you're on the right road!!!!Believe me.
Coping without the love 'of your life' is probably one of the most painful journeys you will ever undertake.I coped by....A:Lurking here and B:Realising that the only person able to bring total happiness to my life was me!
I used to (and still do)imagine worse case scenarios(like kids arguing,,,,,ex-wife's wanting their ex-husbands time and a mans' guilt from leaving his family and i think.. i don't need that...
I'm single and have not yet joined the dating game...........simply because i don't have any single friends to go out with but for me i KNOW my affair with the love of my life has ended.(I am lucky as i have 3 kids i can occupy my time with)
And yes i'm saddened by this...i loved him with my heart and my soul but i think i've just taken the bit of my heart(one huge part)back to myself...ready to give to someone who wants it for keeps!!!!
To you all in the situation of forbidden love please remember what donesn't kill you...makes you strong..
HUgs and love to you all