For all who miss your MM

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-14-2004
For all who miss your MM
8
Sun, 10-31-2004 - 6:15pm



Edited 11/1/2004 3:45 pm ET ET by lovesec
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2003
Sun, 10-31-2004 - 7:18pm
Hi Lovesec...........Maybe I have missed something, somewhere along the line, but WHY,WHY,WHY do you feel that you have to wait till a specific date to end your affair???? Trying to mentally prepare, in my opinion, isn't worth the energy. What is worth the energy, is your being happy, focusing on positive things and people in your life, making yourself realize that YOU ARE WORTH ALOT MORE than anything any XMM (money or no money) could ever give.

I certainly do not mean to be harsh. I mean to offer my .02 of support. Please, please realize that this board is here to give you strength and support while you heal from your affair THAT IS OVER and DONE WITH and before you know it, you will look back on the affair and ask yourself WHAT WAS I THINKING!!!

Ending it sooner than later is starting your journey down the road of recovering.


iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2004
Sun, 10-31-2004 - 7:21pm
You are right, your future XOMM has many negative qualities as does pretty much all the men who cheat on their W's. So, that being said.....you ARE canceling this absurd "weekend f**k ritual" you have planned right?

Sorry love but your posts have me just going crazy. Do you not realize that what you are planning amounts to nothing more than opening yourself up to even MORE pain and heartache than ever before. I mean come on, spending an entire weekend having IC with a man that you are going to break it off with afterwards? How could you possibly even enjoy it, knowing that it will be the last time?

Of course my bet is that this weekend escapade will serve only to get you more wrapped up in this man than ever before and in 3 weeks we will be seeing you on this board posting all about how badly you want to have a better relationship with your DH but you just CAN'T end it with OMM...far too painful after the wonderful, romantic weekend you too spent together. When that does happen, and it will....we will all do our best to bite our tongue and not say "I told you so", as always we will be here to support your decision to end the awful A so you can move on and finally find happiness.

There are all sorts of things I can add to your list but knowing that you are presently scheming to lie, cheat, and betray your husband and all the while looking for the support from those of us who have mustered up all the energy we have to NOT do so....well, sorry but it just takes the wind out of my sails and I don't have the energy to add to your post.

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anonymous user
Sun, 10-31-2004 - 7:37pm
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-30-2004
Sun, 10-31-2004 - 8:04pm
Well now if I didn't know better I would swear that you were describing the jerk I had an A with for 3 yrs. But mine wasn't a millionaire.The first night I met him given me a beautiful silk red rose, the words he said was "a pretty flower for a pretty lady". 2 weeks ago he walked up to me with a white rose and he said "a pretty flower for a pretty lady and the white is for my promise to love you forever". OMG gag! He is numero uno liar of the century. After we split and he called showing his childish side in front of his friends I had to retaliate just a little. I went where he was that night.I told him just how pathedic he was and that I didn't love him(I lied) he was nothing but a crutch that desrtoyed my life with his lies. I informed him my mission in life was to return the favor. I gave him back his flowers and told him I wanted beatiful roses from a real man not a scumbag like him.That was the hardest thing I had ever done. He was rather umble then he said he was sorry he acted like a jerk on the phone. I told him I knew he was sorry, held my head up and walked out. His W finally the day after I broke it off told him she wanted a divorce because she knows about me. He had the nerve to call me and tell me he wanted to try to save his property so he was going to stay with her. Big deal the dumb (me too) woman has married him 3 times she deserves him. Sweety run, run like the devil is after you. Go and get away from that man, he is using you just like mine did me. Of course haha I could go on to tell you how to get even, I did. I have got to say this. The devil was after me. How many of you saw the movie The Passions of Christ? Remember Satan in the movie.His eyes? The last time we went away and made what I thought was love I knew that day I was dealing with something. I guess I was seeing through him finally. He looked down at me with his dark eyes and people I swear that demon in that movie came to mind. My darlin liar has black hair and dark brown eyes. I don't know why unless I knew he was a con artist from hell. His lifes mission seems to be jerk everybody around he can.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-30-2004
Sun, 10-31-2004 - 8:33pm
I read the other posts that ask why you have set a date... I know why. I plan to begin NC tomorrow. We rarely have contact on the weekends anyway because he has custody of his children. So he will call first thing in the morn and I am going to tell him it is over this time....and that if he cares for me and my sanity in the least bit... he will let me go. I understand about waiting but you have to ask--- Is anything going to change after your last time together?

I took a long drive today and thought this over and over. I know I need to do it, but I keep thinking of ways to deal with it and continue. But I am so tired of thinking of him, I dont remember my life before him... and I have two kids and a H of 20 years. I am so ready to be me again. Fun, laughing and happy all the time. Peace be with you...

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-17-2004
Mon, 11-01-2004 - 12:42pm
Come on guys, don't you think you're being a little harsh!

Loves has made the right decision and is making steps in the right direction, by deciding to end it and by preparing herself for the inevitable.

I dont agree that she should be going on this weekend with OM either, but I choose to let her make her own mistakes. Yes, maybe it will all end in tears but if thats what she's gotta do, then thats what she's gotta do!

And to loves, I'll happily add to your list!

1, my XOM has a thing for MW (sick or what?)

2, He's really, really vain!

3,He's recently grown a goatee beard which frankly, makes him look ridiculous.

4,He buys the cheap vodka for me when he gets me a drink at the bar rather than fork out the extra 1.00 for the good stuff.

5, he talks about his ex-girlfriend- ALOT

6, he would get annoyed if I wasn't available 24/7


Good luck loves, I know you can do it!

m x.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2004
Mon, 11-01-2004 - 1:28pm
This is a list I made up last week and I read it everytime I wanted to contact him. We are talking a bit now, but mostly for support as friends. Making a list and reading it really does help!! Good luck!!



Thoughts to make ME feel better.....For once I am thinking about MYSELF





* Your married. I believe you will continue to have affairs and never leave your wife. She is the only one that will put up with your destructive behaviour



* You cheat. Not only on your wife, but also on your girlfriends



* You are selfish. You give little thought to how anyone else is feeling or how much you hurt them



* Your an alcoholic and don't seem to want to change



* You have a huge gambling problem



* Your a liar. The promise to be best friends and to need to still talk to me all the time was a joke. What you actually should have said was....I need you when noone else is around and I need to talk to you when I feel bad and need an ego boost. !uck how you feel!!



* Your a terrible father. Your kids are going to wind up hating you one day. That is if your lucky enough not to kill them while DUI with them in the vehicle first.



iVillage Member
Registered: 10-06-2004
Mon, 11-01-2004 - 1:31pm
Okay, here goes my list:

- My xMM wasn't cheap, however, within the 3 months of time we were together he NEVER got me anything

- When we first "made love" I wanted it to be special, so I danced for him in the Motel room which any man would go crazy for, instead xMM made a comment to me a few days later, that it was unnecessary for me to dance for him because he is not into that. Then he had the nerve to ask me if I did dancing on a "professional level" in other words if I was ever a stripper because I dance so well

- When I got him a present for his birthday with a card, he didn't even read the card. I wrote him a poem in it, which he didn't even bother to read

- He lied to me about being single for weeks. Then he finally admitted to me that he is married with 2 kids

- Everytime I tried to do something nice for him, he would always put me down

- He never said how much he cared about me, or missed me when we didn't see each other, unless I asked him first

- Even when we were intimate, it never felt sincere on his side. It was basically a good screw for him. Afterwards, he would turn on the TV in the Motel room and watch a show, or just go to sleep

- I went out of my way and spend a LOT of money on nice lingerie for him. You think he cared what I wore???? Of course not!

- When I told him I got pregnant by him, at first he sounded somewhat concerned, but afterwards I don't think he really cared. I mean, I went through an abortion over the weekend, did he even bother to call me if I am okay??? Of course not!

- I was always the one calling him

- I am sure I wasn't his first and won't be his last A


Should I go on?????