Allowing myself to feel

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-01-2009
Allowing myself to feel
2
Wed, 02-24-2010 - 12:06pm

So last night and today, my emotions have been all over the place. One minute I am hopeful and grateful, and relieved. The next I am angry, sad, and hurt. The emotional turmoil is exhausting.

One thing I started to think last night was that I have got to allow myself to FEEL all of these emotions- not try to bottle them up, or just act as if everything is fine and that I am over it. That's what got me to the A in the first place.

I am not over it. I am angry. I am hurt. I am sad. I am confused, and lost, and at times, lonely.

But you know what? I am learning that it's OKAY to feel that way. Just because I feel those things doesn't mean that I am losing ground or that I am defeated. So, I am allowing myself to wallow. To have a pity party. To be mad. To feel. I need to purge all of these emotions, really get them out. Pretending that I am suddenly "fine" is only going to lead me right back to exAP.

So, I am giving permission to myself to feel and cry and scream. To get it out. I feel like once I can get these feelings out and deal with them, then I will be able to move on.

Did any of you feel this way or deal with this? How did you cope? What did you do that helped you work through your emotions?

Hazel

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-04-2009
Wed, 02-24-2010 - 12:59pm

Hazel -


What you're feeling is completely normal.

NC since October 2, 2009.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-18-2008
Wed, 02-24-2010 - 1:56pm

Hi HR,


I remember your story and hope this time NC sticks. It seems that you were able to get over one hurdle which was getting your H to understand why you do not want to spend time with xAP or maintain a friendship.


It's ok to go through the feelings but as Gal pointed out just try to limit the amount of time you grieve each day. Give yourself say an hour to cry throw pillows scream etc. If the feelings come up through out the day just say to yourself, "I will deal with that tomorrow during my grieving time. That way you are allowing an outlet for the bottled up feelings but not allowing yourself to wallow all day in them.


Big hugs,


E1


Whether you think you can or you think you can’t you are probably right.

Whether you think you can or you think you can't you are probably right. A parrot can repeat what it has learned but the mark of true intelligence is applying what is learned.