Almost caved this weekend. . .

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2003
Almost caved this weekend. . .
1
Mon, 03-22-2004 - 8:43am
Hi all! I hope you all had a good weekend, or at least not too difficult. I almost caved over the weekend and contacted OMM. H took DS away overnight on Saturday and DD was at a sleepover. What a set-up, the evening and the house all to myself! I felt lonely and thought - what a great idea to call OMM to come over and ease the loneliness! The real growth here is that I didn't do it. If I had called him it would have been for my own selfish reasons, not because I had changed my mind about my decision to work out my marriage.

Now here's the hope: the last time I tried NC I called OMM several times on a whim because I felt uncomfortable - lonely, sad, unloved, sexy, whatever. I thought it was up to him to make me feel better and I knew that he could supply what I needed at that time. I didn't do it this weekend. I lived through the feelings of loneliness and missing him and you know what! When H and DS arrived home last night I was honestly happy to see them, the loneliness stopped when I had my kids back home, and I realized that I would have been "using" OMM in a way that isn't fair to him - and especially not fair to H. I got through the feelings by myself and today I'm sooooooooo thankful that I didn't cave. It wouldn't have helped either me or OMM- not to mention the damage it would have done to my efforts to save my marriage! I'd be feeling guilty, he'd be feeling hopeful. Just wanted to share that! Love, hugs, and THANKS for all of your support because just knowing that I'd be checking in here on Monday morning was incentive for me to keep NC! You all are wonderful!

mo 7-18-10

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2004
Mon, 03-22-2004 - 9:02am
Hooray for you!!!!! You should be proud of yourself! :)