Almost impossible for me to post

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2011
Almost impossible for me to post
5
Thu, 12-27-2012 - 3:43pm

I am just having a really hard time with this.

I come and read a few days a week but most of the time my replies get eaten when posting from my phone.

Today, I had a rare opportunity to log on from my desktop since it is slow at work today.  I got booted out 3 times before I was successful.  But here I am!!!

Anyway, I wish I was able to be around more and supporting newer enders.  I am almost a year NC (on Sunday!) and I can tell you that a lot changes in a year.

Back then I wasn't sure I could live without him and be happy.  Honestly, I am still not over it yet but I think in another year I will be.  And this year will be *way* easier than this last year.

My dear, dear friend Goodheart is about as far out as I am (she went NC a little earlier but has run into xAP a few times since then since they live in the same town and have many friends in common) and she is in a similar place to me.  It's not perfect but it is Ssssssoooooooo much better than it was.

It does, as RatherBeMe correctly tells us repeatedly, get better.  You just have to let time do it's thing.

And while you are letting time do its thing, have a real deep look at the WHY you stumbled like this.

It's actually been a huge learning experience.  I wish I could have learned these lessons in a less painful way, but these lessons have, I really believe, made me a better me.

Much love to you all, and I hope everyone is having lots of relaxation time with those who are important to them.

Rain

 

 

Avatar for wClarity
Community Leader
Registered: 11-04-2012
Thu, 12-27-2012 - 6:48pm

Well, I sure hope you can post in on 12/30 in response to all the kudos you'll be receiving for arrival to Vetville!

I'm sorry it is so frustrating.  I, of late, have had to log in sometimes three times before it takes...three times a charm...is no longer all that cute a saying.

Seems there are a host of new problems along with some older problems rearing their ugly heads.

But guess what is and has been working just fine and dandy...the advertisements! Finally, that Febreze ad is no longer invading ivillage.

Anywho, I'm thrilled about your year coming up...I'm on it, Rain girl.  I hope you and yours had a nice Christmas.

((hugs))

Clarity

P.S. Your title kinda scared me for a sec...just a sec.

Community Leader,

Ending an Affair Support Board

Avatar for ratherbeme
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2010
Thu, 12-27-2012 - 7:37pm

I am waiting right here, all logged in, waiting to be one of the first to welcome you to Vetville.

I know it was a hard fight for you, and it will be a well earned honor when you achieve it.

It's not only better now, it will get better still the longer you go. Reality has a way of displacing those fantasies that we all hold onto.

I am proud of you.  Keep moving on.

Rather....

We only miss what could have been. I know I don't miss what it really was.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2011
Fri, 12-28-2012 - 10:51am

Hi Rain--and welcome (almost) to Vetsville. You and I were almost the same schedule. And I am so proud of you for making it here. And yes, it does, it does, it does get easier. I still have my moments, too, and I still think of xAP every day, but more and more often, lately, it's getting to be a thought that's almost tasteless, if you know what I mean. It's a bone that has been chewed and savored for way too long, and even my stubborn little brain is getting tired of it.

Not with my life, though, which has moved on and is much improved. I have gotten my mojo back. And I am enjoying this week of peace and quiet with my family. The family I could so easily have lost, a year ago.

Here's to you, Rain!

--Bird

p.s. A year ago, I was at my brother's house going through some old Christmas decorations. I found a pretty little red bird that I had never seen before (my mom must have bought it the year before she died). I brought it home. On the bottom of it, I wrote "Birdsong55, 2011," and I kept it hanging in my office for the past 12 months while I fought through this battle. It's on my tree now. I'm in a much different place than I was at that time, and glad for it.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2011
Fri, 12-28-2012 - 10:53am
p.s. And iVillage has really screwed the pooch with these boards, if you don't mind my saying so. (Yeah, go ahead, censor me, I dare you.) --Bird
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-24-2011
Sat, 12-29-2012 - 10:18am
((((((((Rain))))))))!!! Hi girlfriend!!!!!! So glad you posted in! GREAT POST! I am really glad things are going so well for you! Hope you have an incredible New Year! Love, progression