Almost impossible for me to post
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|Thu, 12-27-2012 - 3:43pm|
I am just having a really hard time with this.
I come and read a few days a week but most of the time my replies get eaten when posting from my phone.
Today, I had a rare opportunity to log on from my desktop since it is slow at work today. I got booted out 3 times before I was successful. But here I am!!!
Anyway, I wish I was able to be around more and supporting newer enders. I am almost a year NC (on Sunday!) and I can tell you that a lot changes in a year.
Back then I wasn't sure I could live without him and be happy. Honestly, I am still not over it yet but I think in another year I will be. And this year will be *way* easier than this last year.
My dear, dear friend Goodheart is about as far out as I am (she went NC a little earlier but has run into xAP a few times since then since they live in the same town and have many friends in common) and she is in a similar place to me. It's not perfect but it is Ssssssoooooooo much better than it was.
It does, as RatherBeMe correctly tells us repeatedly, get better. You just have to let time do it's thing.
And while you are letting time do its thing, have a real deep look at the WHY you stumbled like this.
It's actually been a huge learning experience. I wish I could have learned these lessons in a less painful way, but these lessons have, I really believe, made me a better me.
Much love to you all, and I hope everyone is having lots of relaxation time with those who are important to them.