Alone, tired, sad

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-01-2010
Alone, tired, sad
12
Sun, 12-05-2010 - 9:31pm

OMG!!! It hasn't been that long and aready I am losing it (my mind), knowing I can't reach out to him. I even had some panic attacks. I'm in deep sh*t. I can't think straight. I am trying not to picture him with his W, kissing her, etc. I could go mad doing that kind of thinking.This cold turkey NC is too hard.

Went out drinking way late and then did a xmas party today with the kids and so I'm exhausted. I'm sure that adds to my sadness. Will I feel better tomorrow? Please??? I hope. I need hope. I feel such despair right now.

It's a time like this I wish I were still married and had someone to fall back on. I know I have my kids, friends, family -- but it's

Love, Sunshine Dedicated to living my new life with integrity, truth and positive thoughts! I am worthy of true love and definitely worth the wait!

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-15-2010
Sun, 12-05-2010 - 9:46pm

aww Sunshine,

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2010
Sun, 12-05-2010 - 9:50pm

Sunshine -

I have no doubt that being tired is adding to your sadness. You asked if you will feel better tomorrow - you can feel better right now if you choose to. You are feeling withdrawals - look at the bigger picture. Try to get out of your head right now.

The hope you need is right here on EAS - choose any one of us. We've walked in your shoes. I was out of my mind at times over the summer - pacing my office, driving around. It's been just over 5 months that I've had my life back. You CAN do it.

Think about these things:

  1. Everything happens for a reason.
  2. Sometimes, things have to get a whole lot worse before they can get a whole lot better.
  3. You create your world with what you choose to think, say, and do.
  4. From Eat, Pray, Love: ‘Ruin is the road to transformation.'

I'm single too, and I understand how you feel about wanting a significant other, but you don't want a man to "fall back on". You want a man that will love and cherish you and your kids. Be strong and I promise this will pass and it will be SO worth it.

Bodhi

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-16-2010
Sun, 12-05-2010 - 10:07pm

Sunshine ((((Hugs))))

I'm a newbie too, just 2 weeks NC. I regard myself as a strong and practical woman and still i found the first week EXTREMELY HARD, like all the people on this board. You are going through a withdrawal period, like being on an addictive drug. Always remember that your R did not make you TRULY happy, your XMM did not TRULY love you if he opted to stay in his M, i'm sorry to paint that picture for you. You deserve so much better than that and you are special and you deserve to be happy.

Sunshine please continue to read and read, i promise you that it will help you, i was feeling the way you were only a couple of weeks ago.

Whatever you do stay NC, it is a proven theory, also please keep posting and say whatever is on your mind, the beautiful people here are just amazing.

V888

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2010
Sun, 12-05-2010 - 10:53pm

((((((Sunshine))))))

THIS TOO SHALL PASS.

We PROMISE.

You're VERY wise to come here and tell us - get it out - you're being REAL about your withdrawl in a SAFE place to be real. We wont tell you anything but how we've all been EXACCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCTLY where you are right now. And we all will tell you - I swear and promise! Id sell the farm! it WILL GET BETTER.

If you've ever had to QUIT something - use that strength and committment to give to yourself regarding the xap. Its the same withdrawl from any other addictive relationship you have with food or a substance.

Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart... Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens. I started looking inside and went NC October 15, 2010
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2010
Sun, 12-05-2010 - 10:55pm

Susnhine HANG in there!

Here's a big (((HUG))).

I know exactly how you feel but believe me it gets better!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-13-2010
Sun, 12-05-2010 - 11:18pm

I'm so sorry Sunshine....I'm 2 weeks (tomorrow) NC.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2004
Mon, 12-06-2010 - 12:24am

sunshine, it will get better try

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2010
Mon, 12-06-2010 - 6:52am

Sunshine,

So proud to see you come here and post your thoughts and feelings. This is the place to come to and let it all out. We all know what you are going through.

I can't tell everyone how proud I am of MC, V888, Jen and is-love. Sunshine, these ladies were where you were just a few short weeks ago. It warms my heart so much to see them posting to you, encouraging you to be strong, and telling you how it really is. It means they made it through the most dreadful, painful, raw period of ending an A--the withdrawal stage. It hurts like hell, but you just have to manage through it. There's no avoiding the pain. But going back to AP to delay the inevitable is not the answer. You just have to stick it out.

Oct. 12, 2010 -- began my personal search and rescue mission.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2009
Mon, 12-06-2010 - 7:43am

Hang in there, Sunshine. The holidays are always stressful anyway, and winter? Ugh! If you stick to NC, by January you will be in a much better place emotionally. It's those first few weeks and sometimes months that can be brutal, but you are in withdrawal and also healing at the same time. It's hard on every aspect of our being. Just take it one day at a time, one foot in front of the other. Listen to the other newbies and how strong they are already. They were all in the same place you are in just a few weeks ago. It does get better....I promise.

(((Hugs)))

Be where you are; otherwise you will miss your life. ~ Buddha
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2009
Mon, 12-06-2010 - 8:14am

Pages