Already? Seriously?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-19-2010
Already? Seriously?
4
Thu, 01-21-2010 - 10:32pm

Okay, day two of NC and he sent me a text first thing this morning. It actually woke me up. I didn't read it. I just deleted it and went back to bed and cried for 30 minutes then got up to start the day. But all day I have been wondering what it said. I keep trying to rationalize sending him one back. I keep telling myself that maybe it was something important and he really needed me, but I know that isn't true.

How am I suppose to do this if he is contacting me after one day? I would change my phone number, but I don't have a good enough excuse for my husband.

Well, I guess I got my answer. Obviously he is thinking about me. You know what though? It didn't make me feel as good as I thought it would. It is so crazy how when we started this we said we would be friends well after the A ended. We said this was all in good fun and when one of us decided to end it the other one would respect that and we could remain friends. Yet here we are. How foolish of us.

One more thing and I will end this. Last night I was really upset and my husband asked me what was wrong. I told him that I was PMSing and went to take a shower. I get out and he has the entire bedroom lit up in candles. He tried to give me a message and I told him I just wanted to go to bed, but then I started crying again. He held me while I cried myself to sleep. I feel so pathetic. My H held me while I cried over my xAP and he had no idea. Does it get any worse then this? I feel like the worst person alive and I feel like I should just leave. I didn't think I could feel any lower. I'm so confused.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-10-2010
Thu, 01-21-2010 - 10:55pm

I have escaped to the shower or bathtub numerous times during the rollercoaster that is the A.

Imustenjoypain!
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-20-2010
Thu, 01-21-2010 - 11:09pm

SC,

You've done two really brave things in the last two days. Yesterday, you opened up here about your story. Today, you demonstrated your commitment to NC, by deleting his message. Both are terrific steps toward your healing.

MPV

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-18-2008
Thu, 01-21-2010 - 11:09pm

Hi SC,


You wrote:


<>


Well now cannot say that for sure. He might have been thinking of himself and wanting an ego stroke and seeing if you would still be at his beck n call.


<>


If you went out and a friend of yours and they were under the influence of alcohol and made a pack with you, would you give much dedication to the pack?

Whether you think you can or you think you can't you are probably right. A parrot can repeat what it has learned but the mark of true intelligence is applying what is learned.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2009
Fri, 01-22-2010 - 5:47am

((SC))


Deleting that txt before reading it was YOU finally being in control. I am very proud of you.


E1 said it all, so I will not reiterate. Just keep on this path and in a few weeks life will

   ~Iddy~