Am I in denial?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-22-2004
Am I in denial?
2
Fri, 12-03-2004 - 11:18am
I guess now it's my turn to post on this board as well.
MM and I agreed to break up last Sunday and we did. We agreed on not seeing each other for a while, so I can find my live and he can rediscover his. Well, we are talking to each other daily, just to comfort one another. We both are extremely hurt and in pain, but more for the fact that we put his wife (which was also my friend) in so much pain. I told him, I wish him all the best on reconciling his marriage, if that is even possible. I do miss him a lot, but cannot see him right now. I would like to carry on the friendship we been having for 10 years, but need to emotional detach myself from him. I also told him, that if he ever wants to come back to me, only with signed divorce papers in hand. I still am and always will be in love with this man and deep inside I hope his marriage will fail and he will come back to me. I feel so evil for even having these thoughts, when I am the one that only wants his happiness? I am trying to hate him or his wife, but cannot. I cannot say anything bad about him or her at all. What is going on with me? Am I in denial about the break-up?
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2003
Fri, 12-03-2004 - 7:43pm

Kat

No I don't see denial so much as conflicting emotions at work in you, I think pretty normal all things considered.

Free

Avatar for shescomeundone2002
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
Fri, 12-03-2004 - 8:28pm
YOu are in the first stage of grief which is denial. You do not want to believe that it is truly over. It is natural for you to still want this man even though you know deep in your heart that he needs to try and work things through with his wife. That doesn't make you evil! Give yourself a break and stop beating yourself up. This hurts and you are in pain. I don't think you are in denial to the point that you are begging him not to leave you.

Jazzdiva