Funny, just before I signed on, I thought about xAP, how many years we were involved (3), how long we haven't spoken to each other ( 1 1/2 ), I saw him briefly at a football game this past Fall, but we didn't speak. Anyway, tonight
Bandk is right. Anniversaries are triggers, especially those that occur during the first year. You have done so well and it's important not to let your subconscious mind trick you into believing otherwise. They are only dreams and apparently your psyche is still working some things out. Just last night I had one about XMM coming over to my house for our weekly romp and when I saw him pull up in front of the house, I locked all of the doors and windows. Then I woke up and thought, "OMG, yuck!." So my subconscious has already accepted that I would never go down that road again, and it was good to know that it's now on the same page as my conscious mind.
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Good grief, woman, banish the thought. It's time for some serious self talk and may I suggest to keep reading this board and the Healing Library for a refreshers course in the damage and destruction of affairs. You don't want to go there again and you know this.
Stay on the high road. You have come so far and this IS something to be proud of.
kerilyn,
Funny, just before I signed on, I thought about xAP, how many years we were involved (3), how long we haven't spoken to each other ( 1 1/2 ), I saw him briefly at a football game this past Fall, but we didn't speak. Anyway, tonight
Kerilyn,
Bandk is right. Anniversaries are triggers, especially those that occur during the first year. You have done so well and it's important not to let your subconscious mind trick you into believing otherwise. They are only dreams and apparently your psyche is still working some things out. Just last night I had one about XMM coming over to my house for our weekly romp and when I saw him pull up in front of the house, I locked all of the doors and windows. Then I woke up and thought, "OMG, yuck!." So my subconscious has already accepted that I would never go down that road again, and it was good to know that it's now on the same page as my conscious mind.
<>
Good grief, woman, banish the thought. It's time for some serious self talk and may I suggest to keep reading this board and the Healing Library for a refreshers course in the damage and destruction of affairs. You don't want to go there again and you know this.
Stay on the high road. You have come so far and this IS something to be proud of.
((Hugs))
~ Iddy~
~Iddy~