Ambigious NC

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-25-2003
Ambigious NC
2
Sun, 03-21-2004 - 4:30am
The last time i had NC with MM it ended. I wrote him an email that said goodbye (it's a long story that some may remember from last summer).

Of course, after 1 month, we were back in contact again, by telephone (although not as frequently) and by email (again, not as frequently, but nearly everyday). We've stayed that way for 6 months--until 2 weeks ago. I had a telephone conversation with him that left me feeling very empty, unappreciated (I do work for a non profit we both work on together) and like an afterthought (he owes me $250 for a ticket to an event we were supposed to go to with my H (believe it or not! they know each other) but it turned out he couldn't go. He can't seem to remember if he paid me for this ticket (it was from last January).

Anway, after this conversation, I decided to have NC with him, but there was no clear cut ending this time. He has not called me since and only once sent me an innnoucous email about a game he found online for my kids. I saw him last weekend at the baseball field as we both coach our sons in Little League. We ignored one another. It was awkward. He left the field, drove away, and then about 1 hour later, drove back to come up and talk with me about something that had to do with Little League. I was rude to him--really didn't give him the time of day.

I am not even sure if he knows that i have made this decision to have NC with him--i just haven't heard from him at all. it feels very ambigious. And today, I will see him at the baseball field as we both coach our children in little League.

I really don't have a question. I guess i just think NC would be easier if there was a clear cut ending. I am nervous to see him today at the baseball field. I guess i wonder if he has also chosen to not have contact with me, too. I don't know.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: claricews
Sun, 03-21-2004 - 12:41pm

Clarice, be strong in your conviction of NC. I know it's tough to see him around the neighborhood and on the ballfield. I'd say scratch up the $250 to experience even though you may well not be able to afford it. It's not worth the effort to get it from him. Let him go sniffing around this other coach.


But, if you do have cause to speak to him regarding Little League, always be courteous and polite. Not friendly but courteous! Keep it professional.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2004
In reply to: claricews
Sun, 03-21-2004 - 5:07pm
AAGGHH!!! NO!! You are trying to justify contact for the sake of NC! You made the decision (Yeah! Go girl!) to have NC - it doesn't matter if he knows about your decision, he will figure it out.. and if you MAKE contact to let him know you don't want any contact... well, you see where I'm going with this!? I know it's hard to just STOP.... but that's what you need to do. If you really want it to end, then you have to be strong enough to just let it be over with out trying to tie up any loose ends. They never get tied up. It would be like tying up the loose ends of old denim shorts. Stick to your guns... Mourn the loss like he died. You cannot contact the dead. Write a mock obit and let it go! You will be happier and free-er in the end. Love to you