and, I'm back.
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| Mon, 06-21-2010 - 1:40pm |
So, I went to Jamaica with my mother (only) for my brother's wedding last week. First off, no offense to Jamaica or anyone from there, but I am soooo thankful I wasn't paying for that trip or I'd have been piiissssed. I would not recommend Jamaica for a vaca, and I'll leave it at that.
My brother's wedding was sweet. He's 45 and never been married - now he's married to a 3rd-timer with an 8 year old child and he seems thrilled. I am happy for him, but also feeling soooo cautious to be too hopeful about their future. Don't you just love how having 'a past' f's up the Suzy Sunshine optimism when it comes to M and Rs? I was unable to make a toast because I was too emotional and at a loss for words. I know, right? Me. At a loss for words. Somebody alert the press!
Being on vaca, with a lot of time to think while relaxing in my beach chair made me swing like a manic pendulum between bittersweet thoughts re: xAP and just plain bitter thoughts. A very wise and dear friend advised me that being in a romantic local like that would be bound to bring up those feelings. I'm thankful for that because it's nice to know my feelings were "normal" and that I can take those feelings with a grain of salt and dismiss them without too much over-analyzing or angst. Not _every_ uncomfortable thought or feeling needs to be 'worked out' or entertained. It's like saying, "yeah, whatever. this is meaningless and will pass." what a relief.
I was a little disappointed with the welcome I received from my H upon my return, but I tried to keep my rrrawwwrrr to a minimum. We had a nice conversation about expectations and the differences we have re: communicating them and delivering upon them. i.e.: him putting out lawn lights in the backyard is NOT a romantic return home gesture. Sorry to break it to ya, Honey! ha. Anyhoo, I am thankful that I didn't have xAP's response to my return to contend with -- it would have either been 100% opposite of H's (unfairly making H look like a big Ahole in comparison) or X would have disappointed and vexed me (distracting me from focusing on my RL and my H).
I'm boring even myself now, so I'm going back to work! Glad to be back to the board and looking forward to a week of reading some fantabulous posts from my girls.
Cheers,
Dee

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We're coolio.
Babysteps
...even if it is all I can do, I can take one babystep.
NC/LC since May 21, 2010
OH, there'll be shiznit. as if!
I hear "babysteps" and I picture you in 5 inch stilettos trying to lickity-split it out of the bar with E1's Aunt Ruthie after the cops have been called. You know that "my shoes are too high and tight but I still got to run" look?
bwhwhwhahahahah.
kisses!!!
Dee,
Yeah, I pretty much suck
*dying laughing*
Babysteps
...even if it is all I can do, I can take one babystep.
NC/LC since May 21, 2010
Missed your posts for sure.
And gurrrrl - I agree about Jamaica. BTDT - never again.!!
Hey welcome back are you feeling Dee-compressed after your vaca?
Now now you ladies need to cut ole’ Aunt Ruthie some slack. Last I heard she is trying to find Jesus with a religious sect that is wandering in the mountains somewhere in the US living off the land and all that tree hugging crap. Personally I think it’s just a way for her to dodge the feds that are hot on her trail after her prison break.
Whether you think you can or you think you can't you are probably right. A parrot can repeat what it has learned but the mark of true intelligence is applying what is learned.
Speeeewwww !!!
OMG - E1 this is so smiling good. :=)
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