Anger management??
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| Mon, 11-01-2004 - 5:37pm |
1) He was my "friend" - he knew I was having marital problems and instead of giving me advice as a fellow married person, he got involved w/me
2) He was my mentor - and yet he went right ahead and got involved w/his intern
3) He played a huge role in my accident, the physical scars of which I will always have
4) He "cared" about me - and yet interestingly, the times when we got most intimately I was always at least tipsy
5) I miscarried his and his response was a big "well, i'm sorry about it all"; no recognition that it was sad & hurts in my heart
6) He dumped my sorry butt & gets to easily walk away w/o the emotional baggage he's left behind
7) He is a serial cheater to such an extent that I'm embarrassed just thinking about it
8) He treated me like crap & yet I lapped it up
I know that I'm an adult & I take full responsibility for my part in getting involved with him. I could have said no, but I was just too stupid to do so. I'm sorry for the venting, but it just helps me process the end of my A. Thanks for listening. Any suggestions on getting past this anger phase would be greatly appreciated!

I happens at it's own pace don't try to manage it along.
In time your level of hostility will wane, replaced with a sense of freedom that is difficult to explain, but I'll try: "No more looking over your shoulder. No more lies embedded in bigger lies. No more hiding in the shawdows. NO MORE EMOTIONAL IMPRISONMENT!
You will go through a process of redefining yourself. You will slowly recapture the old you while sculpturing a new you. The journey will result in a "better" you.
The key to managing anger is found in self-forgiveness. Once embraced, the rest is history (or should I say, HE will be.)
~True~
Wish I had some great advice, cuz I'd take it myself. Believe me! I'm right there with ya! Though I am angry for other reasons (going from being "the great love of his life" to his "booty call"), I can still relate to both the anger you feel towards him AND the anger you feel towards yourself. I find myself asking more and more "What the hell is wrong with me?" Why am I allowing this to continue? Why am I allowing him to treat me like this? Why aren't I saying "Go f#@k yourself"? Again, wish I had the answers. All I can say is take it one day at a time. Some day's I feel totaly normal (even if it is only for a little while) - hoping to have that be the norm some day soon :-)
Diva
True's hit the nail right on the head, this is a part of the healing process you need to go through.
Feel it, work with it, acknowledge it, use it as the spur you need to keep you from heading straight back in the the mouth of the shark which is the affair.
Use that anger shield to keep maintaining that NC because the longer you go, the more clear everything starts to become. The more things begin to fall into place, the stronger you feel and the more peace begins to settle on your shoulders.
The good news is your anger means you are healing. And it really *will* pass, slowly but surely it eases in intensity, you lose the need to know why, and the what'if's and if-only's start seeming far less important than lashing out or having him acknowledge your pain for you. You'll begin to find your OWN closure rather than needing any from anyone else.
The bad news is, if you break NC, you get to do this all over again from the very beginning... But that is, of course, very much your own choice. ;)
Wishing you strength & peace,
Posie
Blue-eyed
Anger is a completely normal, usually healthy, human emotion. But when it gets out of control and turns destructive, it can lead to problems—problems at work, in your personal relationships, and in the overall quality of your life. And it can make you feel as though you're at the mercy of an unpredictable and powerful emotion.
You can get thru this. Take Care