Is anger required?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-21-2010
Is anger required?
17
Fri, 08-27-2010 - 6:40am

Can I please ask, did all you Enders use anger to propel you out of an affair?

I can't get angry when I think about my AP. She has been a good friend to me and helped me in many ways.
Do you think the wrongness of the A, morally, and the risks associated with it can be enough to end it and go NC ?
I hope this makes sense..... thanks
RP

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-21-2010
Fri, 08-27-2010 - 2:25pm

Thanks GMLB,


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2009
Fri, 08-27-2010 - 2:31pm
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-26-2010
Fri, 08-27-2010 - 3:51pm

It makes total sense. I’ve found that anger allows me to steer clear of XAP much more so vs being sad, sappy, sentimental and all emotional. Now, don’t get me wrong, I have those feelings too (I’ve got so many different emotions going on at the same time it’s insane) but anger I find helps me deal with still having to work with and see XAP on a daily basis, just seeing his name written down on a piece of paper, or sitting in my “inbox” is painful.


iVillage Member
Registered: 08-21-2010
Fri, 08-27-2010 - 5:01pm

The things she does for me:

1) she's very attractive, I must look at least ok if she is in love with me
2) she is very well educated and yet I can teach her stuff so I must be really clever
3) she contacts me alot- somebody needs me for something other than paying bills and putting the kids to bed
4) she laughs at my little stories- you mean someone is still interested in those things
5) she finds me sexually attractive and wants more- I don't feel rejected and perverted for wanting sexual contact.

Is this meant to be helping ????

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2005
Fri, 08-27-2010 - 11:10pm

Anger helps, I think to launch us out, but if it does not come, then it does not come.


iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2005
Fri, 08-27-2010 - 11:27pm


That's all fine and well, just


iVillage Member
Registered: 08-21-2010
Sat, 08-28-2010 - 2:50am

my good friend told me that it had to end.


I have not had anyone suggest that it should continue apart from two women i know. One said she was glad i had it as some pleasure in my life, and another i know said it was best to keep my options open!


I have stopped talking to those particular women about the issue!


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