Angry and disappointed in myself

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-15-2010
Angry and disappointed in myself
4
Fri, 11-05-2010 - 9:53pm

I know I want to end my affair.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2010
Sat, 11-06-2010 - 6:38am

MC,

If you want to end the affair then you do it. Period. You don't have to wait until next Thursday or next week or next month. It's within your power to make the choice whenever you want. We all know how very, very difficult it is. You

Oct. 12, 2010 -- began my personal search and rescue mission.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-30-2010
Sat, 11-06-2010 - 8:40am
MC. So sorry you are feeling scared about ending your A. No doubt it will hurt and you will initially think you made the wrong choice but you will come to see ending the A is the best thing you can do for yourself now. I wish I had ended the A instead of my a$& of an exAP dumping me 5 days after I buried my dad. I thought so many times I needed to get out of the A but never did. I put the A before all of my own needs because I thought he was what I needed. I was so wrong. I needed me to be strong and in the A I was weak. Hugs and strength to you!
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2009
Sat, 11-06-2010 - 8:56am

MC.

You can choose right now to end your A. Keep reading here, arm yourself with an arsonal of reality, and start building up your resolve. Many of us never even told our XAPs that it was over. We made the decision in our heads and went for it. You do not have to talk to him again, you do not have to answer your phone/cell or reply to a txt or email...whatever way you communicated. You can block him right now. If you aren't ready to do the block and walk, then do it later, but in the meantime you can refrain from having any further contact with him. You owe him nothing. I know that sounds cold, but he will figure it out.

"Silence is eloquent, silence is dignified, silence is heard."

We will support you through this, but you have to first make a commitment to yourself that you are done with the lies and deceit, and choose to end this destructive behavior. You will learn that this has nothing to do with him or his feelings. This journey is all about YOU and where you want to be 6 months from now.

(((Hugs)))

Be where you are; otherwise you will miss your life. ~ Buddha
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-15-2010
Sat, 11-06-2010 - 11:06am

Thank you for your replies.