Angry and irritated.
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Angry and irritated.
| Thu, 03-18-2010 - 11:07am |
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Edited 4/29/2010 5:39 pm ET by hazelrose2009
Edited 4/29/2010 5:39 pm ET by hazelrose2009
| Thu, 03-18-2010 - 11:07am |
Hazel,
I understand that emptiness... I have it too although I am only 6 days in and broke NC yesterday which has left me feeling confused, But I do understand your pain.... for me it feels as if I will never be happy again but we know this is just a stage and I just keep thinking "This too shall pass..."
I thinking of you today and big ((HUGS))
Hi Hazelrose,
This emptiness was always there that you choose to fill by engaging in an A. Thats gone now so its bound to come back at some point.
I still wake up some mornings and the 1st thing on my mind would be XAP. Sometimes it was because of the dreams I would have of him, sometimes it would be cause I was lonely and bored and wanted the attention, the thrill of someone wanting me.
What I do? I try to take that engery and focus it on something positive...weather if thats baking up a storm, washing walls,reminding myself of all the bad of him, seeing friends-having a few drinks, going for a run, making a list of goals I want to archive. I basically wallow in my pity of XAP for abit then I have to kick myself in the butt.
This is all the in the moment things that I do. But in all reality we have to dig alittle deeper and fill the void- this is the emotional work of finding out what your lacking within yourself. What I have to say about that is....READ...EAT PRAY LOVE.
Hang in the Hazel...youre well on your way!
DM
Hi Hazel,
I felt that too.
Hey Hazel,
I bet tomorrow will be better.
NC since January 28, 2010
http://secretlifeofjane.wordpress.com/
NC/LC since January 28, 2010
http://secretlifeofjane.wordpress.com/