Another bad side effect of an EMA (m)

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Another bad side effect of an EMA (m)
2
Fri, 03-28-2003 - 6:15am
Well, I found out last weekend that someone I trusted told a lot of our (mine and XMM's) mututal acquaintances about our "relationship." Now I am getting the feeling of a loss of respect, even though they say they understand, they say "we all make mistakes", etc. I am so embarrased. I know they have to be wondering what kind of person I am now. I don't know if I can even look at these people in the eye again. I know it shouldn't matter what others think, but I just wanted to share that even when you think it's over, the pain and sadness isn't.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 03-28-2003 - 9:36am
Hi - I had to respond to your post because I have SO been where you are, except, magnify that by 1000 X!!! First, I will encourage you and say that if you have asked for Christ's forgiveness, then it has been given and as you are "doing it for Him", you know that you are no longer a slave to sin and can hold your head up because you have disentangled yourself from the trap of an affair. Now talking about holding your head up and doing it are two different things, believe me I know. This will take time, but you have to look at this situation you find yourself in and be strong enough within yourself to know that no one, I mean NO ONE is any worse or better than you. SIN IS SIN, no matter what sin you have committed, they are all the same in God's eyes. We all know how society looks at adultery, but you are a Christian and you know that God is quick to forgive when we repent. No one sin is worse than any other.

Okay, I held an elected position in my church. Guess what, I had an affair with a former "Elder" in our church!! The A was discovered by his wife and grown daughters who proceeded to come to my house, (before even confronting their dad), announced it to my H who had no clue yet, announced it to all of my neighbors who happened to be outside that evening and then, in front of my 6 year old DD said that "your mother is a WHORE". Wow, you can imagine my life after that episode from the Jerry Springer show. LOL!! Needless to say, I was stripped (rightfully) of my elected position at the church, I was stripped of my membership and told that I needed to make a full confession before the Board of Elders or they would make the situation public to the congregation. Anyway, those painful times are well past and after a lot of soul searching, therapy and time alone, I can say without reservation that I AM FORGIVEN, I AM BEAUTIFUL AND I AM WORTHY OF LOVE.

You made a mistake. Forgive yourself now and move on with your life and live it fully FOR HIM. My prayers are with you. God loves you and he forgives you. All that matters is that God loves you and He thinks you are beautiful.

Cathy

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Fri, 03-28-2003 - 1:58pm
Thank you so much for you inspirational reply. I know I have been forgiven by the Lord. I have forgiven myself and so has my DH. That's all that matters. The funny thing is is that during the EMA, I never really thought anyone would think it was so terrible what we were doing. I actually thought people would be happy for us that we had found each other to escape from our horrible marriages..NOT. Now that I think about it, I can see how wrong that was and am trying to make amends with those people.

I am glad that you have come out of your situation with your head held high. You truly are an inspiration to me.