Another good day.......

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2004
Another good day.......
2
Mon, 03-21-2005 - 4:45pm

Have any of you that have ended your A read the archives of your old post?

Well...I did today. I was so pathetic. I laughed so very hard. I think I wrote, "It's OVER this time for real!!!" for like 8 or 9 weeks straight. LOL. Glad most of us BTDT so ya'll don't think I am a complete loon.

I am still doing really, really well. I'm not going to second guess it and say, "I know I'll have a bad day sooner or later!" Trying to control my thoughts and guess what...it's so far, so good. I am OK. I'll be ok tomorrow and the next and the next.

For those of you who are still struggling to end it......((((HUGS))). I know how very heart-wrenching and so very diificult it is to come to that decision and stick with it. But once you reach the point where no more is no more....you'll know. Be strong and take care of yourselves.

SS

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2003
Mon, 03-21-2005 - 7:14pm

SS

Your going to have shake your head at yourself days from time to time, trust me all the lights have not come on yet.

Free

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-13-2004
Mon, 03-21-2005 - 11:07pm

sunshine,

i re-read all my post, actually i saved them on my hard drive, i read it and there is so much pain in them, i am much better now, i still feel some pain, maybe from missing her but it is much less for sure, its still an uphill climb and i will fall on the way up but i will stand up again and move on

i think i have reached a point where i finally saw that i am destroying myself, i have no family to lean on so i only have myself and if i cant lean on me then i have failed me and i will probably dead or just even worst that death, ill be crazy by now, i realy do feel like there was no more hope, i felt like i want to get hit by a truck so i will die , solve it all, i know this is not the answer and it will not let OW do this to me anymore, she almost ruined my life, i actually told her that when i talked to her, i think i hurt her in way the she never expected, i have know her for about 5 yrs and i have been a very gently person, i could not hurt a fly but she brought out in me a rage that scare me also, it was pure emotional rage, i was scare that it will become physical coz i can realy do some damage maybe not to her but to other, u know i could get pissed off and take it out on others or myself, i was glad that i was able to control it, but i can tell she can see the rage in my eyes

today i saw her and she was nice to me, she said hi and good morning, i said hi and good morning also, that was the extent of our contact, another thinh is i find her not very appealing anymore, especially sexually , i think its a good sign

u too will survive, we all will survive and hopefully learn from this, i will never have an affair anymore

max