Another POV, Revenge Affairs

Avatar for ratherbeme
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2010
Another POV, Revenge Affairs
11
Sat, 05-14-2011 - 6:46pm

It was a discussion between my therapist and me some time ago. I started out thinking that maybe that was why I had an affair in the first place.

I can only blame myself for staying with a serial cheater for all these years, but I can also see the sickness and the psychological problems that she has. There are many reasons

We only miss what could have been. I know I don't miss what it really was.

Pages

Avatar for xxxs
Community Leader
Registered: 01-25-2010
Sun, 05-15-2011 - 1:15am

"

chaika

Avatar for xxxs
Community Leader
Registered: 01-25-2010
Sun, 05-15-2011 - 1:15am

"

chaika

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-24-2011
Sun, 05-15-2011 - 1:31am
Hi xxxs, I'm sorry I don't recognise your name, though I've only been here for three months so perhaps I missed some of your earlier posts? If you've recently ended an A perhaps you could start a new thread and introduce yourself so that we can welcome you to the Board?

Kat
Avatar for ratherbeme
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2010
Sun, 05-15-2011 - 1:52pm

"

We only miss what could have been. I know I don't miss what it really was.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-24-2011
Sun, 05-15-2011 - 5:27pm
RBM - I'm so sorry for the hurt you've experienced. I can't imagine how hard it must have been for you to take the higher ground and give up your xAP knowing that your M bond with your W was already irreparably damaged through her actions over so many years.

Kat
Avatar for xxxs
Community Leader
Registered: 01-25-2010
Sun, 05-15-2011 - 8:32pm

"When you can no longer depend on your spouse for the things that you are entitled to in a marriage then realistically, it is over."

chaika

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-24-2011
Sun, 05-15-2011 - 9:37pm

xxxs -

Avatar for ratherbeme
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2010
Sun, 05-15-2011 - 9:40pm

If it were not different, then why do we hurt so, and for so long?

Or are you just saying.........sometimes?

I still would never intentionally hurt someone who I loved.

We only miss what could have been. I know I don't miss what it really was.

Avatar for xxxs
Community Leader
Registered: 01-25-2010
Mon, 05-16-2011 - 1:28am

When I went thru the fire my veins flt like molten lave my heat raced and in one night i broke it like a drunk becoming sober it never came back.

chaika

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-28-2010
Mon, 05-16-2011 - 10:10am
Hello All,

I would just like to remind posters that this isn't a debate board. While I agree that no one can/ought to say how another person may feel, what is 'real' to one is not 'real' to another etc ... the purpose of this board is to advocate strict NC, block & walk & taking accountability for the destruction that affairs cause in the lives of those deceived & manipulated along the way ... not to debate about whether or not one benefits from ascribing to the social constructions of relationship, or whether they should be challenged.

That's talk for another board.

Thank you,

TU.

Pages