Any other angry husbands out there?
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Any other angry husbands out there?
| Sat, 05-15-2010 - 5:25pm |
I need some suggestions on dealing with a very angry, very hostile husband.
| Sat, 05-15-2010 - 5:25pm |
I need some suggestions on dealing with a very angry, very hostile husband.
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Hi SM,
I can relate to you except for the Dday.
Yep you know your stuff Liberty! I wondered when I typed it if anyone would know which sin the Bible says is unforgivable and you got it. I’ve been meaning for the longest time to ask you about the abuse from your H and if it has stopped. It seems from you post you are indicating it has and I’m relieved to read that.
Sillyme, so sorry to hear all that you endured pre and post D-day from your H. I’m glad you got out of that and the A. Onward and upward!
Keepswimming, how are you doing today? Are you still treading water today?
Much love and big hugs,
E1
Whether you think you can or you think you can’t you are probably right.
Whether you think you can or you think you can't you are probably right. A parrot can repeat what it has learned but the mark of true intelligence is applying what is learned.
Hi KS-
Sorry I am chiming in late here. I've been away from the board for a couple days. My H reacted in a similar manner to what you are describing after our 2nd DDay. He threatened me, he threatened xap- I was so scared that I found xap that morning and pleaded with him to leave me alone. I was hysterical and xap could see the fear in my eyes. I told him that if he cared about me at all; if he cared about his family; that he'd leave me alone and never speak to me again (that was in May of last year).
After that, xap and I did stop communicating for several week (maybe months, hell I don't know- it's all such a painful blur now). And my H took off on a cross-country motorcyle trip for 21 days. When he left, he said he didn't know if he would come back and I didn't hear from him much during the trip- just text messages to tell me where he was and that he was ok. That was a very difficult time for me and I ended up drowning my sorrows in lots and lots of beer. It hurts to think back to that time- a time when I felt abandoned by both my H and xap, but whatever happened out on that road, helped my H to deal with the anger and come to terms with what had happened. He came back and was willing to work through things with me.
I think everyone is different and only you know what is best for you. However, the abuse cannot continue. If he won't go to MC with you, perhaps a break would be best, for your safety and the safety of your children.
Much love to you.
NC/LC since January 28, 2010
http://secretlifeofjane.wordpress.com/
Thanks everyone for your supportive messages.
Swimming...
Everyone wonders why they do things they do that are bad ideas. I think it all boils down to everyone makes mistakes, and sometimes we get clouded by emotions. In an affair, sometimes it's not a conscious decision. In fact, most times it's not a conscious decision. You do see people on this and the MAS board that set out to find an AP, but I think they are the exception, not the rule. I know with myself and countless others, you just get swept away. You're so unhappy, the attention from someone else feels so good, that you can't see the forest for the trees. Separating is probably for the best. And if it comes to the point of reuniting, I would say not to do so unless counseling is started. My ex and I separated a couple of times, and I went back after he made certain promises to me. But in looking at it now, I know I should have not returned unless we were in counseling. Because nothing whatsoever changed with him. The same behaviors, mistreatment, neglect still continued, and thus so did my affair. Not planned, it's just how it played out. I firmly believe that had we been in counseling, I would not have ever started up with the affair again. And he probably would have had some clarity as to what role he played in all of it. I KNOW what role I played...he never did. Sad.
We are friends today, and believe me, there are times when I would like to get back together, but then I remind myself that he has done nothing to change himself. No work on himself, so I know that it would probably be the same. And I really believe that once he got a few drinks in him, the old, old, six years' old crap would come spewing out of his mouth again. Because he has never truly dealt with it. And as much as I do love him, I will NEVER go back to being someone's whipping post again.
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