? any single w/m on here

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-09-2004
? any single w/m on here
10
Thu, 01-06-2005 - 1:50pm
I have a question, is there any single m/m on this site. I have a hard time realting to mw having a with mm or sm. just because there are different cicustances in the situations of being m and s in na a
thanks,
kat
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-05-2004
Thu, 01-06-2005 - 2:20pm

I was trying to read through that but I got lost in all the initials.

I'm a single woman, if that's what you were asking for... I haven't ended my affair yet, though, so I mostly lurk on this board...

Meez 3D avatar avatars games

"When I meet a man, I ask myself 'Is t

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-02-2004
Thu, 01-06-2005 - 2:23pm
kat,
Hi! I am not single, but you have replied to some of my posts before and i've read most of your posts. I just wanted to say that I'm sorry that you are still hurting so bad. I have ended my A but I do have my DH at home to focus on and my son so it is easier to get through. Do you have any close female friends for support? I didn't until recently and having her support has helped me tremendously. I actually contribute my lack of very many female friends as one of the reasons I had the affair in the first place. Anyways, I just wanted to say "keep hanging in there" it will get better with time. I'd love to talk to you again.
~Meg
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-09-2004
Thu, 01-06-2005 - 3:42pm
Hi sunshine, yes that's what I was wanting to know. I don't see alot of single women on here so I have a hard time relating to the ones who are married. I had a hard time with all the initials to at first. MM .. married man/mw... married woman A... affair. I have not completly ended my A either but I'm more comfortable on this board than the My affair support. glad to know there is another single woman out there, please feel free to chat with me, I would like to talk to another SW not quite ended the A
Kat
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-09-2004
Thu, 01-06-2005 - 3:49pm
Thanks meg, No I left most of my friends to move to this small beach for my boyfriend(not married) of 8 yrs. only to find out he was a looser. My best friend and roommate has gone off the deep end and I mean deep end and has decided to move out so not only am I dealing with the pain of MM I'm dealing with the loss of a friend, over something stupid, and not knowing how I'm going to pay her part of the rent. So I feel absolutly alone. Really don't know how much more pain I can endure.
thanks meg for you kind words and I would love to chat with you some more.
kat
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2004
Thu, 01-06-2005 - 5:02pm

Kat,
Another single woman here. Was seeing MM for 3 months when the day before Thanksgiving, he packed his bags, told his W (who WAS my good friend) he was leaving and going to be with me. He never made it here. And that is when our A officially ended. We've had some contact since then (if you've read any of my previous posts you'd know how really dumb I can be!) but I'm in the process of trying to end the contact. It is VERY HARD and I keep screwing up but I will get there eventually, I guess when the pain is too much to bear. Hard to believe it hasn't gotten there yet cuz it sure does hurt a lot!!! So if you have any questions, feel free to post to me. (I don't think I should be giving much advice though, I don't usually listen to myself!!) Best wishes to you.

Pal

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-10-2004
Thu, 01-06-2005 - 8:40pm

Dear Kat:

I am single now because I left my H of 22 years for xMM and he changed his mind. My A has been over for 14 m but I have had NC for only about 90 days; haven't seen him for 4 months but HE contacted me right before Christmas (if I don't respond I believe that I get to keep my NC) All he ever says is the same thing--I miss you, I love you, I am in so much pain HIM HIM HIM--but he never DOES anything about it.

I truly don't want him to contact me anymore with his BS. I am going on date number 3 with a guy who is AVAILABLE and he thinks I'm beautiful and he sent me a dozen roses and he can talk to me or see me anytime day or night and there is no sneaking around.

I want to be a good person now again and I DESERVE to have someone 100%.
Beleive me I know your pain--for me it lasted such a long, long time because I could not let go. The feelings I had were so strong. They still are, they are just beginning to finally fade, the PAIN finally subsided substantially after 9 months.

Cut it now and you'll stop wasting your life and TAKE THE SUFFERING NOW and you will be done that much sooner. I never thought I would stop hurting but finally I am getting better and I SEE more clearly and I have some of my SELF RESPECT back. It means more than anything now that I followed through with ending the A and now keeping NC.

I am so proud of you too PAL--you are doing great.
Survive

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-09-2004
Fri, 01-07-2005 - 11:27am
Pal, crack me up!!!! I'm good at giving others advice I just can't seem to take my own.
I'm so glad to talk to another single, we don't have to give each other advice, just vent, I do stupid things too. want to let go and just can't seem to. But I do have a date Sat night to go to the movies and I'm excited about that, I know this is not the man of my dreams but his cute as a button and we can talk easaly together. So one step for me. YEA!!!!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-09-2004
Fri, 01-07-2005 - 11:36am
Hi survive, Thanks so much for responding, I too have my 1rst date in 2 years with a cuttie. He is taking me to the movies!!! I swear I don't know how to act lol. I'm glad to here you are moving on and I am hoping that I can do that, I have not contacted my mm since monday unusual for me, he usually heres from me at least every other day. We never even had the luxury of going any where in public. I live in a very small beach town well an island,he grew up here along with a long list of relatives and so did his W, we see, saw each other before we went to the Y in the am 3:30 or 4:00 am until the y opend at 5;30, then when we go to the gym we have to act like we don't know each other. That hurts!!!!! hang in ther anf good luck with your date,let me know how it goes and wish me luck on mine!!!!!
hugs
kat
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2004
Fri, 01-07-2005 - 4:39pm

Good for you Kat!!
Have fun on your date. I've been trying to WANT to go out with another man but just can't bring myself to be interested in anyone else yet. In time I guess. Then I wonder what he would think!!! (hopefully by then I won't care anymore!!)

Good luck Kat!!

PAL

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2004
Fri, 01-07-2005 - 6:51pm

Hi! SW here too! No A here to speak of ...yet! The opportunity has presented itself but so far I have resisted. Why am I here? I guess, bottom line is to try and understand the different perspectives and dynamics, although I know nothing will prepare me for the experience if i should let it happen.


Oh, and as a widow, I have some experience on the grieving process that is so similar to the end of an affair even if the NC part is forced! (sorry, humor helps)


MS
A man's got to do what a man's got to do.
A woman must do what he can't.

MS