im doing much better today, i went out of the house this am, this afternoon im just watching TV, cant seem to do much, last 3 days was realy hard for me but i was able to sleep last nite
im anxious to go to work tomorrow, i know she wont be there anymore, i have no idea where she went job wise that is, i just wish she will be happy in her new job, im sure she will since i am not there anymore
im still depress, its realy hard for me but in time i know i will be able to be back to normal, whatever that is, i dont even know what is normal anymore
my best friend called last nite and she and her husband came over and took me out to dinner, it was good timing on her part, i think i lost weight in the last 3 days
i dont know what to do with my life, its like i dont feel like doing anything anymore, i know i cant give up at all but i feel defeated in some way, i dont know why i feel this way, depression i guess, im gonna see my therapist and maybe a doctor to prescribe me some anti-depression meds, i tool Lexapro before and it worked well
how come i cannot get pass OW, i still think of her, i know that being with her will bring me no future and only pain and always uncertainty but why do i crave for her companioship all the time, even going to lunch with her makes me happy, im not sure if it is real happiness or i am just fooling myself
i am so lonely, and i am afraid, afraid to see what is realy the truth, i dont even know what is true anymore about my life, am i fooling myself and living a fantasy or it this all real, my emotions are blinding me, i have neglected everything in my life so far, im so ashamed of myself, i am here asking for help coz i dont know where to go anymore
Well max, if you're looking for the girl with the magic wand i am not it. But i have two ears and two eyes and i listen well :)
i am really glad to hear you got out. No one said you had to fun. We just said you had to go. You never know what will help you snap you out of your hard time. So you just kind of do some different stuff and see what happens until you can see someone with some credentials :)
No, she won't be there, and i think that's good for you. This is your fresh start and your chance to heal once and for all. i hope someday soon you cna see it that way.
Your best friend sounds sweet. Lucky girl to have you at dinner last night. i promise you there are good girls out there. We're just a bit elusive and usually nervous LOL.
i don't know how to help you. It's okay to be sad but try and remember it's not the end of the world and there are people who care aobut you. She's not the only girl and she has faults too. She probably drools and farts in her sleep :) :) :)
Hugs Max, i do care about you and i'm sorry your hurting. i hope you can feel my hug from so far away.
thanks, im not looking for a quick solution, i know there is no quick solution, it has to come from myself
u and others have already helped me a lot, believe me there is so much help already for me, its just me that cannot open my eyes right now
i know change is the only thing we cannot stop, i hope this is all for the good
thanks for keeping me company, i am realy not doing well, i try to read all this self help info and its is helping but i know its me that is the problem
Max..this is one of my favorite poems-- it speaks from a woman's perspective, but it's really for anyone who has loved and is hurting..and it is good to read at times like these: After A While (alternate title - Comes the Dawn)
After a while you learn the subtle difference between holding a hand and chaining a soul, and you learn that love doesn't mean leaning and company doesn't mean security, and you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts and presents aren't promises, and you begin to accept your defeats with your head up and your eyes ahead, with the grace of a woman, not the grief of a child, and you learn to build all of your roads on today because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plans, and futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight. After a while you learn that even sunshine burns if you get too much. So you plant your own garden and decorate your own soul, instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers. And you learn that you really can endure... That you really do have worth. And you learn and you learn... With every goodbye you learn.
I actually ran out of posts to read lol...so i found another board to start reading.
"Breaking Up Is Hard to Do" board
I tried linking but its not working. Just look above and hit the Love & Sex Message boards portion of the directory if you are interested. Its not *affair* driven but more about the pain of break ups. (Tends to be a lil younger however). Since some of what we are dealing with deals with that as well ...thought it *helpful*.
Perhaps there is another board that might be helpful on that list that can help you and others like us as well (can't hurt). BTW(Wow how wierd to see posts that don't have "MM", "OW","MW" in them but they do have NC in them lol) :shrug: ::Hugs:: Lizzie
it is truly true for me and most of us, it is what is life all about and what we need to do
max
"So you plant your own garden and decorate your own soul, instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers. And you learn that you really can endure... That you really do have worth. And you learn and you learn... With every goodbye you learn."
i'm here for now for what it's worth :) how are you today Max?
:) jen
hi jen,
im doing much better today, i went out of the house this am, this afternoon im just watching TV, cant seem to do much, last 3 days was realy hard for me but i was able to sleep last nite
im anxious to go to work tomorrow, i know she wont be there anymore, i have no idea where she went job wise that is, i just wish she will be happy in her new job, im sure she will since i am not there anymore
im still depress, its realy hard for me but in time i know i will be able to be back to normal, whatever that is, i dont even know what is normal anymore
my best friend called last nite and she and her husband came over and took me out to dinner, it was good timing on her part, i think i lost weight in the last 3 days
i dont know what to do with my life, its like i dont feel like doing anything anymore, i know i cant give up at all but i feel defeated in some way, i dont know why i feel this way, depression i guess, im gonna see my therapist and maybe a doctor to prescribe me some anti-depression meds, i tool Lexapro before and it worked well
how come i cannot get pass OW, i still think of her, i know that being with her will bring me no future and only pain and always uncertainty but why do i crave for her companioship all the time, even going to lunch with her makes me happy, im not sure if it is real happiness or i am just fooling myself
i am so lonely, and i am afraid, afraid to see what is realy the truth, i dont even know what is true anymore about my life, am i fooling myself and living a fantasy or it this all real, my emotions are blinding me, i have neglected everything in my life so far, im so ashamed of myself, i am here asking for help coz i dont know where to go anymore
max
Well max, if you're looking for the girl with the magic wand i am not it. But i have two ears and two eyes and i listen well :)
i am really glad to hear you got out. No one said you had to fun. We just said you had to go. You never know what will help you snap you out of your hard time. So you just kind of do some different stuff and see what happens until you can see someone with some credentials :)
No, she won't be there, and i think that's good for you. This is your fresh start and your chance to heal once and for all. i hope someday soon you cna see it that way.
Your best friend sounds sweet. Lucky girl to have you at dinner last night. i promise you there are good girls out there. We're just a bit elusive and usually nervous LOL.
i don't know how to help you. It's okay to be sad but try and remember it's not the end of the world and there are people who care aobut you. She's not the only girl and she has faults too. She probably drools and farts in her sleep :) :) :)
Hugs Max, i do care about you and i'm sorry your hurting. i hope you can feel my hug from so far away.
jen
jen,
thanks, im not looking for a quick solution, i know there is no quick solution, it has to come from myself
u and others have already helped me a lot, believe me there is so much help already for me, its just me that cannot open my eyes right now
i know change is the only thing we cannot stop, i hope this is all for the good
thanks for keeping me company, i am realy not doing well, i try to read all this self help info and its is helping but i know its me that is the problem
thanks jen,
max
Max..this is one of my favorite poems-- it speaks from a woman's perspective, but it's really for anyone who has loved and is hurting..and it is good to read at times like these:
After A While
(alternate title - Comes the Dawn)
After a while you learn
the subtle difference between
holding a hand and chaining a soul,
and you learn that
love doesn't mean leaning
and company doesn't mean security,
and you begin to learn
that kisses aren't contracts
and presents aren't promises,
and you begin to accept your defeats
with your head up
and your eyes ahead,
with the grace of a woman,
not the grief of a child,
and you learn to build all of your roads
on today because tomorrow's ground
is too uncertain for plans,
and futures have a way of
falling down in mid-flight.
After a while you learn that
even sunshine burns
if you get too much.
So you plant your own garden
and decorate your own soul,
instead of waiting for someone
to bring you flowers.
And you learn that
you really can endure...
That you really do have worth.
And you learn and you learn...
With every goodbye you learn.
Max:
I actually ran out of posts to read lol...so i found another board to start reading.
"Breaking Up Is Hard to Do" board
I tried linking but its not working. Just look above and hit the Love & Sex Message boards portion of the directory if you are interested. Its not *affair* driven but more about the pain of break ups. (Tends to be a lil younger however). Since some of what we are dealing with deals with that as well ...thought it *helpful*.
Perhaps there is another board that might be helpful on that list that can help you and others like us as well (can't hurt).
BTW(Wow how wierd to see posts that don't have "MM", "OW","MW" in them but they do have NC in them lol) :shrug:
::Hugs::
Lizzie
omg Lea:
I have that poem, in a picture frame about 1.5 ft from my computer =)
I typed that out about 12 yrs ago after seeing it in Ann Landers. Made 2 other copies and framed them for my two best friends.
I had a lot of loss at the time. I also had fallen in love (unrequited). I kinda feel I am again at that place right now.
I STILL read it when i have to. It looks so antiquated as it was actually typed out on a type writer! lol..
The author is: Veronica A. Shoffstall
lea,
thanks for the poem
it is truly true for me and most of us, it is what is life all about and what we need to do
max
"So you plant your own garden
and decorate your own soul,
instead of waiting for someone
to bring you flowers.
And you learn that
you really can endure...
That you really do have worth.
And you learn and you learn...
With every goodbye you learn."