anyone???

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
anyone???
5
Fri, 06-18-2004 - 1:49pm
Hi

I am an OLD OLD poster...things do get better! They really do...I do have a question for you all. What if you found out your xMM is having ANOTHER long term affair??? I just found this out and I have to say I am blown out of the water by this. I have had N/C for over 1 and a half years, but I would allow myself the memories (good) ones and thought he MUST be feeling the same and that provided some comfort...come to find out he has been in another AFFAIR..and I feel all my hard work has gone by the boards and I am on day 1 of N/C...has this ever happened? He always said we were "soulmates, the love of each others lives, blah blah blah.." so I thought I could have those warm memeories...why do I feel so so..I don't even know what to say here...

any thoughts? any help??....boy oh boy would I love to tell the "new" one what she is in for...... she has no no clue I am sure....

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-14-2004
In reply to: pasma
Fri, 06-18-2004 - 2:37pm
Are you married? If not, I would tell her, really I'm sure a lot of people will disagree with me, but I wish someone would have told me some things before I started.For some reason we are charmed by these wonderful men. Well so are other women out there just like us.

Men think day to day, he probably did care for you. But think of it this way, you are the one better off. You are the one who has had NC for a year and a half, I can't even imagine a year and a half right now. I know you are hurting now, but it will not take you near as long to get over this and plus now you know that you made the right decision. You are the better person. Stay strong and good luck.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
In reply to: pasma
Fri, 06-18-2004 - 3:13pm
Thank you for your kind words...yes I am married 25 years...and have worked very hard "after the mess"...... not sure I could hurt this new woman.. and his poor wife, who in my mind long ago was "the enemy"....now gosh I feel so rotten for ever thinking that and just feel sorry for her.. Why doesn't he just leave so at least SHE can move and meet someone.....

I don't feel so strong... :(

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2003
In reply to: pasma
Fri, 06-18-2004 - 11:06pm
HI Pasma

I suggest that you maintain NO CONTACT period as muc as he deserves to be exposed.

If you start this you have no idea were it will end, he could give you husband a call for a little revenge.

I think your so blown away because you held on to a part of the affair fantasy as a way of comforting yourself and now that has been suddenly removed, a bit of a shock but I think in a way a good thing to help you return totaly to the real world.

Be wise

Free

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
In reply to: pasma
Sat, 06-19-2004 - 2:53pm

Welcome back.....


If you're really "done" with xMM, WHY

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
In reply to: pasma
Mon, 06-21-2004 - 8:09am
You are absolutley right.... :)