Anyone Else Ever Feel Like This
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Anyone Else Ever Feel Like This
| Thu, 04-21-2005 - 6:42pm |
Another revelation I have had this week (see other post concerning turning a corner)...is that I believe that OM has used me as someone to whine to about his wife. In some ways, I believe that is what he wanted from me even more than the sex, although he certainly wanted that. But that part is over and has been since last September. Now what he wants is for me to sit and listen to him complain about the same crap he's been complaining about since the beginning. Not that his complaints aren't valid. They are. But the fact remains that he's the one that chooses to stay married to her, to put up with it, to look the other way, yada yada yada. I cannot believe the crap he puts up with from her. There is no way many people would put up with it. She's incredibly selfish, irresponsible, lazy. She goes out at least once a week to drink with her friends and oftentimes doesn't come staggering home until the very wee hours. She throws money away right and left and does next to nothing to help out at home with their three kids. And she's been far from faithful. And not just once. But he chooses to stay in that. And I'm sick of listening to him. Being his "angel" as he has called me. I'm not in the business of rescuing people, and the fact remains that he got far more from all of this than I did. I got a lot of heartache, headache and a broken marriage. Nothing changed in his life. Nothing. Do I sound resentful? Actually, I'm not really. Just a little tired of it all. And glad it's over. Eventually, he won't call me. Not that he calls me all the time, because he doesn't. But eventually, it won't be at all. I know it.

But I sure can relate. I was once "there for him" because of his awful wife.
Oh my gosh! Were you and I seeing the same man? Your guy sounds exactly like my guy. His wife is a total drunk. Parties at least once a week, but usually more than that. Coming home at 5:00 in the morning. Hardly helps out with their kids at all. Never does any housework. Is a total slob. Treats him like an employee. Gambles away much of their money. I don't know what the deal is with him. Same thing with me. I was very good to him. Treated him well. Treated him like he was a person. I'm very attractive, nice, successful. But time and time again, he chose her. I'm not talking about choosing her in the sense of who to be with necessarily. I mean choosing her in that I wasn't quite as important. I know he cares about me very much, but for whatever reason, he chooses to stay in that sham of a marriage. For his sake, I hope he can find the courage and strength to get out of it. That's a big part of it, I believe. He's chicken. But whatever, I am sick to death of listening to it. Nothing ever changes. And I'm not his therapist.
Gal
Well we weren't with the same man (My ExMM's wife didn't gamble..but she sure drinks. and he has to "babysit her").. But i think our MM's have problems--because they are so linked and stuck in those marriages. It's sad really. But my feeling is, if my exMM is wanting to live the second half of his life stuck like that--he deserves every moment of it!
A thought for all:
Did you ever think that you are only hearing one side of the story? Or maybe even lies?
If he still stays with her and/or goes back to her, how bad can it really be?