Anyone have HappyEnding to A?
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Anyone have HappyEnding to A?
| Sun, 05-09-2004 - 7:34pm |
I am thinking about ending my A. The reason I'm thinking about ending it, is because I realized I was falling head over heals in love and I want more. I am going to tell him I how feel and I'm not expecting him to leave his gf of 3 years.
Has anyone here ever have a happy ending to their A's? Do happy endings exist?

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I wouldn't look for a happy ending. I would look for happiness after the ending.
Good luck.
My birthday was last Thursday and MM (who's soon to be divorced) and I spent the afternoon together. We went out for a long lunch, beer, and conversation. Just as we were getting ready to leave for home, he got a phone call that I swear sounded like a woman. He started in on a fairly long conversation with this person and I found myself getting more and more angry. It turned out the call was not from a woman. I AM NOT a jealous person and certainly don't expect me to be the only woman he ever talks to but I realized again that I don't know if I'd ever really trust him. After all he had an affair with me. I used to trust him, but that's when we were in the beginning of the relationship and I knew that he was very emotionally involved with me. But the nature of relationships is that as they become more comfortable they can become less exciting and I think more susceptible to an affair. If he was able to cheat once, who am I to say that he wouldn't ever do it again. Of course, the same could be said of me even though I wasn't married.
The question going through my mind (again) is if a relationship is started on such a negative basis as an affair, how hard would it be to make the relationship be positive? (I'm having a hard time gathering my thoughts today so hope this makes a little sense.)
There is fun, love, passion, and lots of happiness -- it's like getting out of prison. I am truly 1000% happier with my life since I ended it.
Affairs can end lots of ways -- I used to think the only happy ending would be marrying my MM. Now I know KNOW what a huge mess that would have been. maybe maybe maybe after years of a big mess with lots of hurt people & damaged trust & damaged finances, we could have been happy together. I doubt it. Actually I know it never could have "worked" in that way.
Mine ended relatively cleanly (okay, some minor stalking by xMM) but no big blow up--no confrontations with his W, no divorce, no children hurt or damaged by our mistake.
I was really lucky & I am truly happy now. Now that's my happy ending.
Iknowitstime
(and so do you)
My OW and I left our rotten marriages, got married (to each other) with our children standing up with us, and have built a new life together. Our A ended but migrated into something much better.
Neither of us would go back to those awful A days. Both of us feel a strong sense of remorse for the pain we caused others. Ours is not a path I would recommend to others. But before her, I had no idea, no idea at all, what love, marriage, a real adult relationship was like. I would not trade what I have now for anything. But why did we have to walk such a painful and difficult path to get here? I'll never know.
Z.V.
Ditto. Ditto.
I'm pleased to read that another couple has been down my path....
Yes, there are "happy endings". Like z.v. there are unanswered questions about the path walked, yet, I too would not trade what I have now for anyhting.
And to those who think that cheaters never stop or are never to be trusted:
Balderdash.
I stopped. Dead in the tracks and thoughts.
It IS possible.
My mother married her MM and it was the best thing that happened to both of them.
With myself I love my MM turned OM and I'll be happy when he finds the love he needs that I can't give him. That's why we kept vascillating between FWOBs to FWBs, bc he doesn't want to be a cheater and doesn't want me to be one either. His marriage is dissolving due to issues PRIOR to us being friends that remained unresolved. He so much wants to be in a relationship where he won't cheat as I think a lot of us are in. There are the serial cheaters but not everyone is one. MM was the first man I ever got sexually/emotionally involved with, first and last EMA and I have no desire to be with anyone else.
I know the phrase "once a cheater always a cheater" or "if he cheated on his W, he'll cheat on you" is out there. Are we saying that that phrase applies to us MWs who are in EMAs as well? Or does it apply to men only? It definitely does NOT apply to me. I NEVER looked at another man, let alone a married one at that! We both had voids which were filled by being with eachother, talking to eachother, being friends.
Just my 2 cents.
Luvin
JMHO (who also hates blanket statements because nothing is 'always' true, except death and taxes)
Bird
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