Anyone survived a really bad ending?
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Anyone survived a really bad ending?
| Sun, 01-03-2010 - 10:18am |
Happy 2010 everyone! I haven't had a chance to post for a while...too many people around over the holidays. But, I've jumped on and read a few posts here and there to keep me going.
I'm officially past 8 weeks now. I'm doing better in general. I don't really miss him and I definitely don't want him back. At least the fog has lifted enough for me to see what a weak, insensitive, fake he is and I know I don't want him in my life (really, I'm not just saying that to try to convince myself...I've done that in the past many times so I know the difference! :)

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I too had a really bad ending...
I can related to how you feel in so many ways. If you have read my posts then I am sure you know my deal, brief recap, thought i was in a RR, turns out he is M and has a newborn baby, neither of which I was ever aware of or told of. I had to find out about both...not that the coward told me, two days later, I found out I am P, W knows, he told her, they have a D day. She forgives, he claims, he is leaving her etc....begs me to stay. I stick around for a while like an idiot, still have sex with him etc...like a dumbass, I find out more and more about him and it just ALL bad and his lies are catching up with him, I am seeing him for what he is. I am realizing I need to remove him from me completely. I meant that physically too. So I have an A...I put him out my house, he runs back to W of course. I then get harassing calls and email from him, saying I am crazy, a stalker, move on, get a life, its over etc...all this crazy stuff...lol. i suspect he was in front of wife or something. or new other women, who called my house and left nasty VM.....that is it, very ugly. very hurtful. I had just had an A (not for affair) with his child and this man was calling my house attacking me etc...3 days later.
So I too had an ugly ending.
One thing I have learned, there is no such things as good ending, or one that is ideal in affairs. The only thing that is good is that they end.
there are so many things I want to say. so much i want to release to him....so bad. but it all does not matter.
I guess what i am saying it does not matter how, what or where it ended, it does not matter, what you had the opportunity to say or not, it all does not matter....
hard to take but so true, the only thing that really matters is that it is over and we can learn to heal and focus and rebuild ourselves.
I know your ending was quite traumatic. i can only imagine what it would look like to see my exAP with another etc....but try to see it like this....better her than u?
imagine how she is feeling right about now? she is not going to anything better from him...u r free of the stress of the A
U may be haunted my the memories but that will fade over time.
I've actually thought about what she's about to go through with him. That sympathy and my pure anger at him make it REALLY hard not to call her and warn her. I fantasize about it a lot but can't imagine myself really doing it. I would love to tell her what he's really like. I also wonder what he said about me to her because if she is involved with him,
Now that is the type of post I love to read....u are right on point from beginning to end, my mm was quite a charmer too, I too have played scenarios in my head...except that my exAp had so many others, including wife. I would have so many girls to email, call, txt, etc
all ur feelings are pretty normal, I hated it, it still hurts. Mine wasted no time, he left my house Friday am n had a new one Friday night. MM who have had an A or more, need constant ego stroking. Constant. Look at it like this, better her than you.
She wouldn't listen to u now no way, he would paint u as the crazy obsessed ex, she has to learn on her own. N let her. U need to focus on you.
N she may be here soon...who knows.
It will get better in time...hold on, the thoughts will consume u less n less.
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