anyone w/pointers to ease the pain?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-22-2004
anyone w/pointers to ease the pain?
9
Thu, 09-23-2004 - 4:16pm
I thought it would be helpful to see what each of you do when the pain and memories become so unbearable that you feel a distinct need to call/e-mail or text your X. I went to the gym yesterday and worked out like an idiot. however, after saying that I will also say that unlike a healthy person that goes to the gym, I also started smoking. He absolutely hated it so I quit. Anything to ease the pain I guess. Thought maybe someone could give me a pointer or two or three.....
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2004
Thu, 09-23-2004 - 8:31pm
Hi Frisco,

I go to the gym every day. It has been a routine for me for the last 3 years. I find that in the last week 1/2 I have been spending more time there than the norm. For some reason I just don't think of anything when I am there. Also I have been keeping myself very busy.

I dont work so for me it is hard to be at home. The temptation to call and e-mail are unbearable at times, but I have been doing good.

I just received an e-mail from him and I didnt reply. I am just tired of feeling pain. I want to keep strong. I HOPE U CAN. If you think of anything let me know. Here to help.

Good Luck....

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-22-2004
Fri, 09-24-2004 - 8:10am
I am so proud of you since you didn't respond! I am in the state of mind right now that if I stare at my cell phone long enough...surely it will ring. I am usually stronger in the morning, but I had a dream about him last night. Yesterday I was doing a little better, today i feel like I am going backwards. I do have a full time job, and although when I am busy it keeps my mind off things, we are slow right now and he is all I think about. I am so thankful for this site...I know I would have caved by now, but when I get the urge, I just post something and thankfully people respond to reinforce the fact that I am doing the right thing. Thank you so much to all of you that are helping me!
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2004
Sat, 09-25-2004 - 11:18am
Hi Frisco,

I feel terrible, I caved in and sent him a reply to his e-mail. I hate myself for doing so. I told him I missed him and he just replied back saying it was ok, And it was nice to hear. I feel terrible, because I was hoping he would tell me the same. I cant stand this. It really hurts.

Sorry I needed to vent.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2003
Sat, 09-25-2004 - 12:39pm
Ladybug

that is probably the #1 reason I try to stay away from MM b/c I hate how I will feel after.. How I will feel if he doesn't call right away, how I will feel if he doesn't email or if he doesn't say what I want to hear. I am not very strong my any means and still doing the hour by hour thing but I always try to think about how I will handle the aftermath. I am still trying to not feel sad every time i check email and it isn't from him.

Don't be so hard on yourself!

Hugs

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2004
Sat, 09-25-2004 - 6:03pm
Hi Briatan

You know the week we ended things I was fine, I put him to the back burner, I said to myself it was over and I was ok but this week has been terrible for me. When I received his E-mail I even deleted it sO THAT i WOULD NOT SEE IT THERE. I CAVED SO BAD AND I HURT MYSELF ALL OVER AGAIN. I dont want to be doing the day to day thing. I just wish I could go back in time and change it for myself. I thank you for the words of encouragement, I am going to try to be stronger. I hate that he owns a piece of my heart. Mon. makes 2 weeks.

You hang in there.

Thanks again..

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-22-2004
Mon, 09-27-2004 - 7:43am
Ladybug:

Don't be hard on yourself! I can assure you that while I have no intention of calling or e-mailing him, it would absolutely KILL me not to respond to an e-mail or text if he initiated it. You had one little set back, just use it as a learning tool...I know easier said than done. I know it won't ease your pain, but know I am thinking about you.

:)Frisco

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2004
Mon, 09-27-2004 - 10:12am
Hi Frisco,

Thank You,

I am looking forward to a possitive week. I saw him last nite at a football game from a far. (ouch that hurt) He did not see me so that was good I was with hubby. Beleive it or not I am ok today I deleted his information from my e-mail and I have every intention on staying away and being strong. How are you doing?

Lots of luck for u this week.

Take Care

Lady Bug......

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-22-2004
Mon, 09-27-2004 - 10:45am
Right now, I seem to be doing well. I had a fundraiser that I headed up this weekend for our local humane society, so that kept me busy. I have a ton to get done this week because I am leaving for the beach with H on Friday, so I should be ok. Its funny, I can feel right now like I have accepted things and I am ok with things, but I will see a truck like his, or hear a harley, or see a police car and I'm a wreck. This site is great for those low times...people that have been there and done that are great and everyone is experiencing the same things so it helps to know you aren't alone. I'll be thinking of you..hang in there! Taking one day, one hour and one minute at a time.....

:) Frisco

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2004
Mon, 09-27-2004 - 3:48pm
I am happy for you. Thats exactly how I feel today too. Seeing him at the game really upset me last nite but I cant keep crying and making myself sick over him. Hope you have a great weekend with your H. Make the best of it.

Take Care....

Lady Bug