Argh he texted me

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2010
Argh he texted me
18
Tue, 02-08-2011 - 11:53pm
I knew something was coming- just had a feeling. Just on 3 mths of nothing and then BAM a text.

He's had a mental breakdown and is now impotent and is not handling life very well. I was the best sex he ever had. If anyone can make him feel like a man again - I can. Can we be f%$k buddies.

God. It sucked the life out of me. I cant block his number but we agreed that we wouldnt contact each other. I stuck to it- hard as it was. He obviously only stuck to it because he was going through a hard time. My first instonct took over and I crafted a response that said I AM NOT A WHORE! I WONT EVER BE THAT AGAIN, But.... I deleted it. I deleted his text and I hit EAS. F#$K. SH^T. I feel so cheap! It was only about the sex and the way I made him feel like a stud. God why did I ever do this to myself.

UGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I am crying, When does this stop. I will delete any other messages he sends- I will have them (thought I did that already but obviously not) sent immediately to delete. Im not tempted at all to even respond- thats not what has me so upset.

Its the fact that the whole thing was a big fat lie! The 'I Love Yous'. The gifts. The laying in bed talking and sharing our lives. UGH. I feel so slow. He has moved on from all of that and dwindled it down to its most base, disgusting denominator- sex. Thats all it was about for him at the end.

Feeling crappy as I have in mths- Im taking myself off to the gym. I WILL make it throuygh this. The F^%king P%$#K

Sorry guys- just venting- I'll be ok soon,

Iggy
You are what you consistently do

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-24-2011
Wed, 02-09-2011 - 12:24am
Oh Iggy, what an awful message to have to deal with.

Do you know what I love about you response?
1. You weren't even tempted to respond and pressed delete
2. You made a plan to stop him reaching you again
3. You chose strong and healthy coping mechanisms (coming here and then hitting the gym)
4. You know that you WILL make it through this and you WILL be ok.

You are an amazing woman and you will get through this.

Big hugs

Kat.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2010
Wed, 02-09-2011 - 12:48am

Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart... Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens. I started looking inside and went NC October 15, 2010
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-25-2010
Wed, 02-09-2011 - 1:02am

Hi Iggy

Man does he have a nerve

New Choices, New Chapter,


New Challenges,

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2010
Wed, 02-09-2011 - 1:28am
Hi friends
Kat, Michelle- thank you! You made me feel much better.
NC- thank you so much for chiming in - I miss you. Yes I bent over backwards (almost literally) to make the sex good for him- always left me feeling cheap and exhausted :) He was much more a taker than a giver lets put it that way. Yes he loved the sex and Michelle I agree that it was probably only ever about that and what he needed to do to keep it going.

What surprised me about his contact was mostly that I didnt feel sad! Hearing from him in all this time didnt hit me as hard as I thought. What got me was how low he would sink to get a shag. He often used to say that he was cheating on his wife mostly due to the emotional connection we had. It would be much easier for his guilt if we could just be FB's. Actually he said that many many times- but i kept hanging in there- refusing to believe that he didnt really care. Surely he is wracked with guilt but he still loves me (spew).

The other thought I have now- after I have digested it a bit- is what a low life he really is. He'll hapily have sex with other women behind his W's back, as long as its just sex. Wow! Does he get it at all! His W would be shattered if there was sex, sex with love, sex only, love only. All of it is cheating.

My final thought at this stage is what a wonderful man my H is. I know he has never cheated but I also know he would NEVER treat a woman like that. He has genuine regard for every living soul. I used to wonder if exAP was a narcissist or a mysogonist. I thought he clearly had issues from some of our earliest conversations. But lately I dont even think about him- I just dont care what his issues are. He is screwing up his life- Im sure he'll find someone to satisfy his need. That idea doesnt hurt me nearly as much as i used to.

I am trying to stay focuseed on me and mine. He never was and thank God never will be.

Thanks again guys- what a cr$p afternoon.

iggyx
You are what you consistently do
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2009
Wed, 02-09-2011 - 7:15am
Iggs....

<>

What a douche bag. My coffee almost came back up reading the above. Well at least there is no reason to analyze those words. He definitely showed you who he is, or who he isn't; whatever way makes it easier for you.

I am so proud of you for deleting this pathetic fishing attempt, and yes, if you can have his msgs go to automatic delete, then perfect. You can't block him?

If anything, you got a glimpse into his misery. You see, their lives aren't as great as we imagine them to be once an A is over.

((Hugs))
Be where you are; otherwise you will miss your life. ~ Buddha
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-30-2006
Wed, 02-09-2011 - 7:58am

Hi Iggy,

I am impressed by the strength you showed by not responding.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-15-2010
Wed, 02-09-2011 - 8:33am

aw Iggy,

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-23-2010
Wed, 02-09-2011 - 9:20am

Really? Could he be any bigger of a SKUMBAG?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-21-2009
Wed, 02-09-2011 - 10:16am

If anything, I think you should be laughing.

Number 1, he is not a stud anymore, so let him screw around when there is nothing to screw with. He thought he got the magic, and boom, the weinie is not even working. Boohoo, poor baby. So let's tun to that woman who propped his ego so high so he himself started to beleive he is actually a man.

Sweetie, it does not reflect on you or who you are. Don't beat yourself up over believing his lies - I did the same thing, we all did. His text was the most inappropriate and disrespectrful, but it's on him, not on you. Good for you for not responding as he does not deserve a responce of any kind, even an angry one.

Block the disgusting scumbag and treat yourself with love.

Gone

**Bloodied but unbowed**
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-2010
Wed, 02-09-2011 - 11:01am

(( Iggy ))

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