Attracted to another women????

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2004
Attracted to another women????
3
Sat, 07-24-2004 - 11:52pm
What's wrong with me? Next month is my 10 yr anniv to my husband. We are Christians and believe that to be with someone of the same sex is immoral. I don't look down on people who are gay but I do believe it is wrong. Some may not agree but that's my beliefs. That's why I'm so very confused!!!! I've recently become attracted to another women at work and I'm sooooo confused. I can't sleep and I can't stop thinking of her. She hasn't said that she's gay but I'm 99% sure she is. She recently went through a big breakup with a friend she was living with and the friend was another women. We get along great and work very well together. She's made comments when we've been goofing off and in the last week she's said "I love you" at least 3 times. She could mean of course in the friend way. Today she said she dreamed of me last night. That's weird??? I never got to talk to her about this dream because we were too busy but she did say that in her dream I cheated on my hubby. !!!! I've been praying that these feelings for her leave me even though I'd still like to be friends with her. She's a neat person but I know it's morally wrong. So why can't I get her out of my mind?? My poor husband. I already feel like I've betrayed him but I can't bring myself to tell him of my crush. Bad enough that I have feelings for someone else much less another woman. What's wrong with me!!???!! Please help! At least pray for me to get over these feelings.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2003
Sun, 07-25-2004 - 12:37am
Hello Imconfused

You may not like this suggestion but I would strongly suggest that you do not hid this problem from your husband or pastor, if you try to keep this in the dark you may very well find that you will not be able to deal with it alone and it may get out of control.

Getting problem out of the shadows so that you can get help VERY IMPORTANT.

Cool person or not you need to go NO CONTACT with this person stop all but the most esential contact with her , if possible get out of that office NOW, up to this point nothing has happened and if you stop it now it will be vastly easier to deal with then if you act on this influence.

I have heard a very good preached speak on this subject and would be willing to share that info with but I do not think this board to be the correct place to publish it.

Free

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-23-2004
Sun, 07-25-2004 - 10:26am
Excellent advice!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2004
Sun, 07-25-2004 - 10:45am
First of all -- do not feel ashamed of yourself for your feelings. It is normal to feel attracted to people you are not married to every once in awhile, and regardless of whether the object of the attraction is of the opposite sex or not, remember that feelings are just feelings, and will not hurt anyone until they are acted upon. I think most of us who have ended up on this board wish now that we hadn't acted upon our feelings. Mefreenow is right; if you can confide in someone about these feelings, you will be much better equipped to deal with them before you do something you regret. And continuing to develop a friendship with a person you are attracted to will lead you into an emotional affair, at the very least, which can be just as destructive to your marriage as a physical affair.