Au Revoir Everyone!
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| Sat, 01-17-2004 - 5:35pm |
I hurt for anyone here that is going through what I have gone through. Please know that although it may not feel like it there is light at the end of the tunnel. Please do not try and go through it alone. In my case I used this board, my faith, and a good therapist to get me through the worse of it. (And a few boxes of Ring Dings)....
I wish that I could completely forget the whole experience. Unfortunately it is part of my history now and I cannot change that. Am I better for having had an affair? Better? No. Wiser? Yes. I will never put myself in that position again. I am now focusing on ME...on my life, on my children. I am throwing myself full force into my life and it is wonderful! I feel as if I have been on some sort of "auto pilot" for three years.
I will visit from time to time, but part of letting go for me is not dwelling on it anymore. It was a mistake. It hurt me. It is done. It could have been alot worse. I could have married the schmuck.
I want to thank everyone who has helped...who has listened. I even want to thank those that came on here and criticized me and were mean, for even that taught me about ignorant people and human nature. Thank you........
Hang in there everybody...I wish you all HEALTHY relationships in 2004 and beyond.

Thank you so much and good luck to you.
I'm really happy for you that you have come so far! I am getting there, but still have a ways to go. The last few times I spoke to XMM, I realized that I no longer feel about him the way I used to. I realize that what we had been doing was inherently wrong, being that we are both married to others. Now that my H knows, I realize that I can no longer have both my marriage and an A. I do still feel an emptiness, but I know that I need to work on *myself* to change that.
I would still love to "chat" with you some time. Feel free to E-mail me at mpjcmom@excite.com. Also, are you still in touch with Cali?? I tried to E-mail her, but I guess I typed in the wrong address....it came back "undeliverable." I have been thinking about her a lot, hoping she is doing OK.
Again, congratulations.....you are an inspiration to us all! Hugs ~ mpjcmom
My life is returning to some semblance of normalcy, with the occasional phone calls from xmm... he just won't let go. It is dwindling though and in the not too distant future, will stop completely when he realizes that I am not waiting for him.
I continue to lurk and post seldom, but I still find strength here in those who are going through the same things.
Thank you Shes for all of the help you gave me over the last couple of months....
I want to move on also and when this baby comes out I think it'll be a real big step in the right direction for me.
From the things you say, it sounds like your very smart and wonderful mom. It sounds like your life is complete and happy the way it is.
I hope you treasure everyday.. but, know that it's OK to be sad sometimes too.
And so be easy on yourself... I think your great just the way you are.
Love, Katja
Cali is okay, something happened to her computer. She sends me an email now and again from her brother's computer. She is stronger and I think wiser.
Katja, I like what you said about giving me permission to feel sad...My life is not "in order"..i have a long ways to go but I do know that I am alot better off then I have been. Happiness is a conscious decision. We need to take responsibility for our own happiness and stop waiting for it to come up behind us and bite us in the butt.
Like I said, I'll be occasionally dropping by....please stay well everyone.
Jazzdiva
In many ways, this board is a stepping stone in our journey to healing and I for one am glad it's here for us. I'm also grateful that you and so many others have been here for me! I don't post much these days but will probably forever check in and from time to time, offer support. Please feel free to email me anytime as I check my email more frequently.
Wishing you a very happy 2004 and beyond!!! You have always been a wonderful supporter and friend to me and so many others here... Thank you!
You'll be missed, but... Good for you! Way to go!
Thanks for the help you gave.
(I always loved your handle! Great tune!)