Awakening from a Dream

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-02-2005
Awakening from a Dream
7
Mon, 03-07-2005 - 6:51pm
I am not sure where I read this, but I know it was from an Irish fairie story. When a fairie enchanted a human, the human became more and more selfish and impatient. The human would not be interested in what went on around them, only in the time that could spend in the fairie world. It got so the human would give up everything to become one of the fairies. They would lose all of the joy and sorrow that is part of the human experience. They could not feel empathy towards others or delight in hard work. These reminders of the real world made them cross and impatient. They could only delight in the beauty and perfection of the fairie world, and in so doing became shallow and selfish, until they ceased to exist as themselves.
I know there were so many times when I wished I was with the xmm, or somewhere else and I missed the life I should have been living. I was not there for my family, or if I was there I was grouchy. I was so willing to pay any price to have this? The reality is there was nothing there. I would have given up everything I had for nothing. I feel like a person slowly awakening from a dream. It is taking me a long time, and if I am not careful, I slip back into that dreaming state. Only now I won't let myself be taken. I want the things that should be mine. No one can give them to me not H, not xmm. There is only one person who can rescue me. I chose my own destiny. I write my own story, and that is what life is all about, choice.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2003
Mon, 03-07-2005 - 7:36pm

KC

TRUE WISDOM IN YOUR WORDS, hopefully others will have this awakening.

Free

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-13-2004
Mon, 03-07-2005 - 8:17pm

thanks for sharing

we are all struggling with this choice we made, but it our choice, God gave us free will to make our own choices and its up to us to make another choice to get out of this mess

some of us will take time to make that choice and that is why i am here and we are all here in this board

thanks,

max

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-18-2005
Mon, 03-07-2005 - 8:34pm

I find that 'fairy land' every bit as real as real life, but more destructive.

Just a taste...that is all it took me. I never did drugs. Good thing, I seem to have an addictive personality. Just a taste...it is like a drug.

One starts to think of leaving the family that loves them, giving up the home they helped build, getting rid of all that they worked so hard to build, friends and family be damned.

For what...just another minute. One more call, one more letter...

Your words are wise...my logical side reads the words, my emotional side longs for...

Just one more taste of that other life...

Thank you for sharing your thoughts...CD

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-03-2005
Mon, 03-07-2005 - 8:53pm
That's exactly how I feel. I feel like I'm going through detox with all those withdrawal symptoms associated with it. It's not all day, but I've already today felt the shaking hands, unable to breathe, and heart palpitations feelings. I passed xMM on the stairs today at work on break and didn't reach out to him, didn't even look at him, but I sure as hell had to take some deep breaths when I got to my car because I felt like I was hyperventilating.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-13-2004
Tue, 03-08-2005 - 12:14am

CD,

my words might be wise but my actions are still not, but im getting there, slowly we will all get there, away from this nitghtmare

u take care,
max

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-08-2004
Tue, 03-08-2005 - 10:38am
That's a powerful story. I also feel like I spend most of my time in a fantasy world & when I'm not there; I'm angry to be back in my own world where things aren't perfect. I'm scared that I'm missing the truly great things in life because I'm stuck in that other world. It's tough to pull yourself out of it though, kind of like quicksand.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-02-2005
Tue, 03-08-2005 - 12:07pm
I know that I do not want to live in a fantasy world, but I am finding it so dull to be back in the real world. I have to deal with my problems. It just seems like nothing is ever going to be fun again. I know there is beauty, yet I struggle to see it. There is just no thrill anymore. I try to be thankful. I try to have faith. I keep trudging along hoping I am on the right road. The signs are not easy to see. My vision has become so clouded. The road I travel on is winding and hilly. When I reach a small summit, I think I catch a glimpse of the place I am meant to be. The vision is brief and gone in a minute. The impression stays with me and the memory is what moves me forward.