baby steps

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2011
baby steps
Thu, 11-08-2012 - 6:07pm

I babysit for xap and wife all the time when they have class at night. She asked tonight if i could watch them in a couple days and also said the kids are bugging her to play. I made up an excuse why i couldn't and ignored the playing part. Yay me, the part that sucks the worst is the kids but hopefully they will stop asking as time goes by.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2011
Fri, 11-09-2012 - 12:40am
good job LFH - those little things can turn the tide. Th more distance you can put between yourself and all of the aspects of the A and contact with xAP. the better. Evening classes or groups might be a good diversion, and a ready made excuse! The kids will be fine, don't let that enter in. XO Daisy
Avatar for ratherbeme
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2010
Fri, 11-09-2012 - 8:07am

Who are you trying to NOT hurt?

When and IF the affair ends, both sides know it.  At least they should know it.  Baby Steps???

Who is hanging on here? Him or you?

End it.  There should be NO doubt. 

Hanging on, is continuing the A. It's just lying low for a while.

If and when it all comes out, and DDays happen under the worst circumstances, do you think they are going to remember the baby steps of ending or will they KNOW it's ended.

If it is done, then there should be a complete different direction in your life.

This is really a fight for new and different life.  Fight like you mean it.

We only miss what could have been. I know I don't miss what it really was.

Avatar for wClarity
Community Leader
Registered: 11-04-2012
Fri, 11-09-2012 - 8:12am

Good for you, LFH!

Baby steps can be imperceptible (*to those you are trying to distance yourself from)...and they add up over time.

I'm really proud of you for taking your first baby step Smile



*edit to add

Community Leader,

Ending an Affair Support Board

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2011
Fri, 11-09-2012 - 11:02am
Rather i didn't mean baby steps ending i meant getting myself out of the mess if my family and his being so close, just dropping off the planet isn't an option unless i plan on telling them the truth. I'm done with him, his wife isn't going away that easy and my h sure as heck won't understand why all of a sudden i want nothing to do with people who are suppose to be our very good friends.