Back after a long absence

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-12-2003
Back after a long absence
1
Mon, 11-22-2004 - 5:06pm

Hello everyone... I am back after months of being away. I have lurked on a regular basis, but because I was still sucked into the A, felt it was not right for me to post. Nutshell version, since so many posters are new... I am divorced, met MM online and was told he was divorced. Found out weeks later that he was not and his W lived in another state. By the time I found out he was married, I was in too deep and kept getting the promises we all get. He was living here for work. He lost his job and moved back to the other state in July 03. Have not seen him in person for 9 months although we continued to keep in touch via IM, email and phone... always at his convenience. His W has filed for divorce, but that has been dragging. Plus, I don't think he really wants it. In all of the attempts at stopping this insanity, he always initiated contact again and I always fell for it. Finally, last week the last straw was broken. Without going into details, we had "stopped contact" God knows how many times. He would then start calling and hanging up, then after a cooling off period, I would honestly think we could be "friends". Nope. Does not and cannot happen. Too many raw emotions. After almost 3 years of this garbage, I stopped all contact again last week and this time, it seems to have stuck. I did get the usual hangup phone calls, the last one when I yelled into the phone to stop calling me. Nothing since. I did love this man (sick eh?), but now feel like I can start breathing again. I have been seeing someone, who knows there was someone else, but not the details. I feel that I can finally start to focus on my life again, get rid of the knot in my stomach and be back to living the kind of life that I can be proud of. No lies, no deceit, no sneaking. Can be out in the open and not worry.

This board has been a source of strength for me even though I have not been very strong. I honestly feel that this nightmare is finally over though. I have to come to terms with my own conscience over what I have done and learn from all of this so it NEVER happens again.

Life begins again..........

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2003
Mon, 11-22-2004 - 8:30pm

IAT

Life begins again.......... and the best is yet to be !

Injoy your real life with a real man.

Free