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| Wed, 06-01-2011 - 2:27pm |
I have been in an A for almost 2 years. I am a MW, he is technically a SM. I say technically cause he is still in love w/his x-wife but that is a long story. It started as an EA and eventually turned PA. I have tried to end it several times, came to this board in Dec and was doing good for a couple of months but eventually slipped back into old habits and started the EA again which turned PA again last nite.
Xap regretted it immediately and he ended things today. I am incredibly hurt and sad and have been crying all day. Every other time I have ended it so I am hoping that this time it is over for good. I sent him a final text telling him to never contact me again, which I know he won't. 99% of the time I would initiate contact. I also unfriended him and blocked him on FB. I just need to be strong enough to not initiate contact.
I really want to end this A and work on repairing my marriage. My H is a good man and I love him. Thank you all for the support.
Xap regretted it immediately and he ended things today. I am incredibly hurt and sad and have been crying all day. Every other time I have ended it so I am hoping that this time it is over for good. I sent him a final text telling him to never contact me again, which I know he won't. 99% of the time I would initiate contact. I also unfriended him and blocked him on FB. I just need to be strong enough to not initiate contact.
I really want to end this A and work on repairing my marriage. My H is a good man and I love him. Thank you all for the support.

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Welcome back, livin4me1
I'm sorry you went back out.
Welcome back, our doors are always open. I'm so sorry for the hurt you're feeling, and hope you'll do what's needed to keep yourself safe this time. Clarity has offered you some great advice - she's one of our wisest so read it well :)
((Hugs)) and smiles
Kat
Thank you for the welcome. You hit the nail right on the head. I know that he always used me but this time I really felt used. He got exactly what he wanted and practically shoved me out the door.
This may sound crazy but I am glad he was the one who ended it because I think I will think about the rejection and not contact him.
I am going to try to talk to my H more when I am feeling down or want to revert back to my old ways. Tell him I need some extra attention. I am also going to take more time for me and take an exercise class or two to relieve stress. And come to this board and post and read!
Thank you so much for the hugs!!! I so angry at him but moreso at myself cause I caused myself this hurt. I had ended it for a month, then he contacted me and I was hooked again. I am looking forward to getting to know all of you!
I have this written on a sticky note stuck to my laptop that i got off of the Healing Library..I'm sure you know it... It helps me TREMENDOUSLY to continue my daily struggles w/ NC.
"Silence is Eloquent"
"Silence is Dignified"
"Silence is Heard"
"Silence is Strength"
There is so much amazing stuff in the HL. One of these days someone should write a book on it!
And, yes, a book for sure :)
Excellent!
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