Back to Day 1 again :(

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-24-2011
Back to Day 1 again :(
17
Thu, 02-24-2011 - 12:53am

Phone call from an unknown number at 7.45am

"Hello, Kat speaking"

"It's me. Please don't hang up. I know where you are. I'm right across the road. I know you have a meeting this morning, and I know you have to leave your hotel soon."

"There's nothing more to say. I told you in my email, I can't see you again. I hope that one day you'll understand it's for the best."

"Why haven't you answered me? I've emailed you at work, I've emailed you at home, I've sent you texts, I've called the hotel where you usually stay, I've been watching the house where you used to live."

"I didn't get your messages. I blocked your numbers."

"How can you do this? You're treating me as if I've done something horribly wrong."

"We have done something wrong. I love my husband and I want my marriage to work. I want to live my life with honesty and integrity and to make decisions that my children would be proud of."

"I understand and I respect that. But surely we can still be friends?"

"No, we can't. Being friends doesn't work."

"Well if we can't be friends, maybe we could just see each other occassionally and have some fun?"

"No. Absolutely no."

"My feelings for you will never change. You know where to find me. You can call me anytime."

"Please don't try to contact me again. Goodbye."

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-16-2011
Thu, 02-24-2011 - 10:59am

Hi Kat,

I'm new to this board. On Tuesday you responded to my post and mentioned that my story echoed yours in many ways.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-2010
Thu, 02-24-2011 - 11:24am

Kat, I want to tell you that you did a GREAT job handling it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-31-2011
Thu, 02-24-2011 - 11:49am

Kat!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2010
Thu, 02-24-2011 - 12:00pm

Kat,

High Five on the Broken Record Technique!

As a fellow recipient of the many unwanted attempts on part of jam to break NC, I commend you for being so succint and emotionless in his presence. If you can, try NOT to answer ANY unknown or private numbers in the future. (this is what I've had to do

Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart... Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens. I started looking inside and went NC October 15, 2010
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-24-2011
Thu, 02-24-2011 - 3:56pm

Foggy, Jen, Daisy, Iggy, Iddy, Lolly, Looking, KHA, Sunrise, Gal, LBP, Garfy, Never, Michelle,

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-28-2010
Thu, 02-24-2011 - 7:41pm
Dear Kat,

Sorry to be late in providing my support. I just wanted to echo Michelle, and some advice to Newbies about why NC is SOOOOOO essential. It is RARELY the actual content of the text/call/visit that is the issue, it is the spinning in what it all meant, what you said or didn't say, what he said or didn't say that causes the damage. 30 seconds and you feel riddled with pain. THAT is just how powerful any contact can be early on. That contact after you have stopped "using" is absolutely awful. I know you know to cease all communication if he was ever to get through to you again. I had to hang up phones, walk outta meetings etc ... when he continued to pursue me relentlessly.

The fact that he is engaging in stalking behavior should also be something to note, and not take too lightly. Please be safe.

Much Love.

TU.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-24-2011
Sat, 02-26-2011 - 5:31pm
Thanks for your support TU. You are absolutely right - blocking communication from every angle has been essential to my healing (and I will be much more cautious about calls from unknown numbers in future).

I was unnerved to hear him say that he had been to the home where I used to live - he used to say that if I ever ended the A he would simply "delete every memory of me from his mental memory stick" and that his life would "snap back into shape like a rubber band as if I had never existed". Guess it just goes to show that the person I thought I knew so well, I didn't really know at all.

It feels great to be home again, with the rain falling on the roof and my two little girls on the floor beside me drawing pictures of dolphins.

Smiles and hugs

Kat





Pages