Back to Day 1/0

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-03-2012
Back to Day 1/0
9
Mon, 04-23-2012 - 5:31pm

again. It has been 3 weeks. I thought I was doing better..actually..I still think I am. We exchanged texts. I'm still here. More resolved than ever to maintain n.c. indefinately for myself and my family...but..I start again as of a couple hours ago.

  The difference between who you are and who you imagine yourself to be, is what you do.

Avatar for worthmore
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-20-2012
Mon, 04-23-2012 - 8:22pm
Do you know why you gave up your hard-earned "sobriety"? When you say you exchanged texts, did he email you first or did you email him? If he emailed you, why did you feel you needed to respond? If you emailed him, what did you hope to achieve?

What is the 2/23/2012 date? That's more than three weeks ago. I'm wondering if you should stop holding onto that date, whatever it means. Today is the important date.
Avatar for ratherbeme
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2010
Mon, 04-23-2012 - 9:00pm

OK, pick yourself up and dust off the dirt, and be glad you didn't get bruised to badly.

You will have a bad couple of days, it's not easy getting over it.

We only miss what could have been. I know I don't miss what it really was.

Community Leader
Registered: 06-08-2010
Mon, 04-23-2012 - 9:18pm
RB, the clock starts today. Today is the first day of your renewed journey. You fell down, now get back up and start again. I love the saying, "If at first you don't succeed, try, try again." This ending business is no different. I hope for your sake you don't have too many spills, but please be good to yourself. You can get your life back. This is where the work starts, RB. This is where the healing begins.

Hearts <3
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2005
Mon, 04-23-2012 - 10:42pm

C'mon, RB...what are you doing?


iVillage Member
Registered: 02-03-2012
Tue, 04-24-2012 - 12:35am

Hah...that's the truth. I think square one is worn. I think it will break if I go back. So..cannot go back.

The date was a mistake. I wrote the wrong month. I was trying todays date. Isn't it 4/23/2012. Oh Good Grief..I don't even know the date!

I'm not sure what I was thinking...and yes..it was me. I realized I had lost contact with so many people I care about in/throughout my life. We traveled a lot (missionaries) when I was growing up..so when I got attached and then lost people ..i mean we REALLY lost them. So somehow I started transferring some of that junk to xAP ..and panicked..and wanted to know if he was there. UGH..I FISHED!!!

..and he responded. And we both agreed to give eachother indefinate (like forever) space. And then? I came here and I start again.

I cannot block. My provider does not offer the option. And number change will cause entirely too much drama with both my aging parents and a son with high functioning autism.

  The difference between who you are and who you imagine yourself to be, is what you do.

Avatar for happyasme
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-11-2012
Tue, 04-24-2012 - 9:37am

RB, can you block right from your phone?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-03-2012
Tue, 04-24-2012 - 10:14am

Of course you agreed to indefinite "space" with xAP.

  The difference between who you are and who you imagine yourself to be, is what you do.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-18-2011
Tue, 04-24-2012 - 7:15pm
rb, I'm concerned that you're slipping? Why did xap call you? You slipped yesterday and you were steadfast that it was again, done. What did he call for, is he fighting the end? I'm confused? You don't seem horrified? What's going on?
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-03-2012
Tue, 04-24-2012 - 7:27pm

rb, I'm concerned that you're slipping? Why did xap call you? You slipped yesterday and you were steadfast that it was again, done. What did he call for, is he fighting the end? I'm confused? You don't seem horrified? What's going on?

Gypsy...thanks for concern..and fair questions. I'm concerned I'm slipping too. I don't know why I'm not horrified he called. I just felt relief..like..ahh..yes..there's that fix.

  The difference between who you are and who you imagine yourself to be, is what you do.