Bad Day - Need a Boost
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| Tue, 09-28-2004 - 5:21pm |
One of the last e-mails I sent requested that OM stop trying to contact me. He had done some things that made me uncomfortable (i.e. calling my house, drive-by's, many cell phone calls) and I had just had enough.
Fast forward to this past week. OM and I are teachers in the same school district, we have the same group of friends within the district, and often socialize at the same functions (i.e. happy hours, parties, etc.) I had been avoiding OM by not attending these functions at all, but then last week I went to a happy hour. Was cordial to OM, didn't really talk to him. Got several e-mails and calls following the happy hour that I did not return.
Today, OM e-mailed me at school to let me know about a happy hour after school with a bunch of people from his building. He added that a lot of the "new younger girls" (new teachers) were going, and that he felt like he had a "harem" for happy hours now, whatever that means. Then he went on to say that he is the "social director" for their school now and that he would be busy organizing outings each week with his "new friends".
I have no desire to resume the A. I don't even like OM anymore, but for some reason, his obvious immature attempt to make me jealous bothered me. I don't know why. I immediately deleted the e-mail and did not/will not respond. I guess for some strange reason it upsets me that he is throwing this in my face, even though I am the one who ended the A. Does any of this make sense?
Since I have ended the A, my marriage has gotten better, I am happier, and I feel SO much better about myself. I am usually strong. But for some reason, this hurt. Why?
I just wanted to pop in, re-focus on why I ended the A in the first place, and maybe get some support.
To all of you ending the A, take it from me, it isn't easy, it has its ups and downs (today was a down), but in the long run and in the big picture, it is well worth it!
Thanks for listening,
Circe

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It is really nice to here from you again, when people move on I tend to wonder how there doing, so it is nice to see that your do well.
As to way the spoiled brats childish efforts bothered you, MAYBE because no one enjoys feeling like there being rejected.(Vindictive little twit isn't he)
All B/S about the younger teachers really tells alot about were he is at and who he really is, pity that poor woman who is going to be married to such a creep, there won't be one day that she will be able to trust him.
Circe the "younger girls" are going to be laughing at the resident dirty old man behind his back, he is going to end up making a laughing stock of himself.
Stay the course your the one who is going to have a good future in your marriage he is going to end up divorced.
Free
And I agree, his poor fiancee' has absolutely no clue what he is like (and yes, the wedding is still on for July '05) I can't imagine being married to him. Knowing what I know, I can truly say I do not envy her at all.
I guess my reaction surprised me because I was doing so well, things were better with H, and I was truly feeling "over" the whole A thing. But, it has helped being back here and reading and posting.
Thanks again, Free!
((hugs))
Circe
I had to laugh a bit when I read your post because I have been the pathetic soul he clearly is. Okay, I was 21 and heart broken so I have a better excuse but his game is very transparent. The truth is that he is still very hung up on you or else he wouldn't write what he did. He finally saw you at a social event and all he wants is for you to come back so he can see you again. Not only is he probably the tag-along at these events but when one has to write about "harems" and "new friends" chances are they are sitting at home a lot doing a bunch of nothing. It is a terribly immature move but my guess is that your opinion really matters to him and he wants you to think he has moved on. The truth is that by writing what he did, he is clearly showing that he hasn't moved on at all or else there would be no need to write what he did. I would try not to feel jealous but rahter get great satisfaction that the guy is still hung up on you and hasn't moved on, and that you have. The best thing you can do is not respond. My petty side wants to suggest you write back and tell him that you have outgrown the happy hour scene and have family commitments, but that is just my petty side. Let his stew in his own pathetic life and how sad for him that he is engaged and still has a need to talk about harems. I don't blame you for not being able to even like him anymore. I think you've done very, very well!
Apparently he is making a complete a$$ out of himself parading around like a rooster in a henhouse. I also thought of saying something about outgrowing the happy hour scene, which is somewhat true, actually. I used to go out a lot more often, and haven't lately because of all that has happened. The truth is that I miss seeing my friends from other schools, and I miss socializing, but not seeing XOM has helped me get past the A and move on. Maybe once this latest nonsense has died down I will make an appearance when the group goes out to socialize.
All in all, I have done pretty well with everything. I guess I was just surprised that what he said had any affect on me at all, let alone hurt me.
Thanks again for your support. I really appreciate it!
:)
Circe
I think you going to find that childish jabs at you will provoke less and less pain and more and more contempt over time, an emotional knife gets dull rapidly if it is used to often, I expect he is to stupid to understand that.
Blocking his e-mails is still a good option.
Free
Unfortunately, I cannot block his e-mails to that address because it is through our school e-mails, and we do not have that capability. I blocked his address on my home e-mail, but I have no power to do the same as far as my school/work e-mail. I am hoping that my non-responses will be a big hint to leave me alone, but I don't know.
And I do think you are right, this did hurt, but not enough to make me go back or have contact, so I guess that is a good thing!
No response is the best response to old mister sh$t for brains.
Free
Yeah, it was about as subtle as a ton of bricks lol. But like I said, it did bother me for some reason. And maybe you are right, maybe it bothers me because I can't fathom how I was involved with such a jerk...it is sad because at one time, I was under the illusion that we actually had a friendship to fall back on. Now, it seems like he is deliberately trying to hurt me, and friends definitely don't do that to friends.
It also hurt because maybe some selfish part of me wants him to be in pain like I was in pain during the A. I want him to hurt like I hurt, and he is just shoving in my face that he has moved on to bigger and better things. Does that make any sense?
Sweetie, he hasn't moved on. He is still "STUCK" in sh*t up to his earlobes, but wants to paint a completely different picture so you will "swoon" all over him again. Some guys just never get it. Rejection humiliates them, and from what I have read from your recent posts, this guy has been having "serious" issues with letting you go. You been ignoring him all summer, and now that he "CAN" reach you through e-mail, he's elated. So what comes out of his keyboard? Any little dig he can think of just to get your goat. Screw him.
Trust me. He DID feel some pain when this ended. They're just not going to let us know about it....protect the ol'ego thing and not let her see me bleed. That is why it is SO important ladies, to do the same thing in return. Don't show them your pain!! Only it's not our egos we need to protect, it's our hearts. This is where we are most vulnerable.
~True~
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