Bad Day - Need a Boost
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| Tue, 09-28-2004 - 5:21pm |
One of the last e-mails I sent requested that OM stop trying to contact me. He had done some things that made me uncomfortable (i.e. calling my house, drive-by's, many cell phone calls) and I had just had enough.
Fast forward to this past week. OM and I are teachers in the same school district, we have the same group of friends within the district, and often socialize at the same functions (i.e. happy hours, parties, etc.) I had been avoiding OM by not attending these functions at all, but then last week I went to a happy hour. Was cordial to OM, didn't really talk to him. Got several e-mails and calls following the happy hour that I did not return.
Today, OM e-mailed me at school to let me know about a happy hour after school with a bunch of people from his building. He added that a lot of the "new younger girls" (new teachers) were going, and that he felt like he had a "harem" for happy hours now, whatever that means. Then he went on to say that he is the "social director" for their school now and that he would be busy organizing outings each week with his "new friends".
I have no desire to resume the A. I don't even like OM anymore, but for some reason, his obvious immature attempt to make me jealous bothered me. I don't know why. I immediately deleted the e-mail and did not/will not respond. I guess for some strange reason it upsets me that he is throwing this in my face, even though I am the one who ended the A. Does any of this make sense?
Since I have ended the A, my marriage has gotten better, I am happier, and I feel SO much better about myself. I am usually strong. But for some reason, this hurt. Why?
I just wanted to pop in, re-focus on why I ended the A in the first place, and maybe get some support.
To all of you ending the A, take it from me, it isn't easy, it has its ups and downs (today was a down), but in the long run and in the big picture, it is well worth it!
Thanks for listening,
Circe

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You know, I thought about it, and maybe my lack of self-esteem is what got me into this mess, and that is why I automatically assumed that OM was moving on to "bigger and better things", rather than think that he was trying to make me jealous. After I ended the A, my self esteem skyrocketed! I felt so great about myself, it was wonderful. I guess this latest dirty trick on his part was kind of like letting some of the air out of my balloon, so to speak.
But I love your attitude towards it, and I think I need a little more of the "screw him" attitude. I was/am vulnerable, like you said, and I hate that it even got to me at all. But you are right, I will not show him that this hurt me.
Thanks for the reply!
:)
Circe
Fill that balloon right back up to "sky-rocket" level. So he pin=pricked it a little. What do you expect from a little prick? :) Feeling good about yourself is the greatest benefit derived from ending these esteem sucking relationships.
<<>>>
It gets to every single one of us but when we have gotten as far as you and I have, fortunately the waves diminish before they blast on shore. We have moved back enough to enjoy the view of the ocean instead of drowning in it. Be proud of yourself for all of the good you have done for yourself and refuse to dwell on those dang bits of bad that catch us off guard. I had a little setback yesterday myself, but managed successfully to emerge unscathed, AGAIN!!! (keeps getting easier....)
Hang in there girlfriend!!
~True~
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