Like a Bad Penny

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2010
Like a Bad Penny
46
Wed, 01-19-2011 - 1:09pm

He keeps turning up.

I was still asleep. My phone rang. Ive put in so many resumes and applications and jam has been the LAST thing on my mind for so long..."private number" meant ...Oh this must be a job!

The GULL = I didnt recognize his voice. He started with....I wanted to tell you on New Years Eve, I left my wife. I packed a bag. I came and sat at your place till 8 in the morning....you never showed up ...now, though she's taken me back and everything's fine. were gna work on our marriage - and Oh...Ive got to take my mom to the morturary today.

Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart... Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens. I started looking inside and went NC October 15, 2010

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2010
Wed, 01-19-2011 - 1:21pm

I WANT TO RUN AWAY.

ALL THE HARD WORK IVE BEEN POURING INTO MYSELF TO REBUILD MY LIFE.

IT JUST FEELS LIKE I CANT ESCAPE HIM.

IVE ESCAPED, IVE LEFT...IVE DONE EVERYTHING HUMANLY POSSIBLE WITHIN MY POWER AND PRAYING TO GOD FOR MONTHS ON END.... BUT IT FEELS I CANT ESCAPE.

Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart... Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens. I started looking inside and went NC October 15, 2010
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2011
Wed, 01-19-2011 - 1:54pm
I'm sorry NL, sending big hugs your way today. I was in your position after a near 2 yrs no contact. Then bam! Just like you said, like a bad penny, there they are. Keep your head up sweetie. You're a strong woman who's made such a wonderful decision to take back your life. To live a life of dignity. And you will do this. Just take it one step at a time.

Sometimes these xaps go to extremes and hit us at the most random of times, just when we begin to get into the groove of this healing journey. But remember, what doesn't break us will only make us stronger. You have the power NL to turn this unfortunate situation around. You continue on your journey and don't look back. Forget his excuses, his selfish fishing attempts and what not. This is about you. And you can do this. Here's a big hug sweetie sent your way. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and continue on. We're all here for you.

Big hugs,
WU
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-25-2010
Wed, 01-19-2011 - 3:01pm
wait- he called today or you are talking about back in December? Who asked you to reset your clock???? Michelle you should know by now that resetting is PERSONAL - the only person that gets to choose that is YOU. Did YOU call him? No. You did what I would have done- bawled, yelled and hung up - So what part of NC did you break?

Okay baby - Breathe....

Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2010
Wed, 01-19-2011 - 3:04pm

God, Michelle. I am so sorry you are dealing with an asswipe of an xAP. He's a true "dingleberry" isn't he???

Just breathe through this. You have every right in the world to be angry. He has

Oct. 12, 2010 -- began my personal search and rescue mission.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2009
Wed, 01-19-2011 - 3:17pm

Once you heard his voice you should have just hung up. That's all you have to do, Michelle. There's no need for the screaming, the crying, or the dramatics. Now he knows that he can still get to you.

Back to the drawing board. It's time to turn your focus on calming and relaxation techniques. Also, keep saying over and over again to yourself that no matter what he throws at you, you could care less. Eventually your adrenaline surges will react to surprise attacks with a great big YAWN!

"I don't care, I don't care, I don't care." Keep saying it until your body and mind connect the dots. He is nothing. Remember that....HE IS NOTHING. Just a dirty little spec that gets smaller and smaller until poof! All gone.

((Hugs)))


Be where you are; otherwise you will miss your life. ~ Buddha
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2009
Wed, 01-19-2011 - 3:18pm
And running away resolves nothing because wherever you go...there you are. ;-)
Be where you are; otherwise you will miss your life. ~ Buddha
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2010
Wed, 01-19-2011 - 4:08pm

Michelle -

Iddy gave you great advice. I know the feeling of the "xap death grip" all too well. But unless he has you physically chained up, you CAN escape him. It's your life and your choice. If he does have you chained up, gnaw your arm off :)

Bodhi

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2010
Wed, 01-19-2011 - 4:45pm

Thanks everyone, I'll respond more thoughtfully in a bit.

Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart... Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens. I started looking inside and went NC October 15, 2010
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-28-2010
Wed, 01-19-2011 - 5:53pm

I get it - I do. Been there M. Same BS that you're being dished. What does it change? Sweet damn nothing if you've done the work within you - and that TAKES TIME - REFLECTION - DEEP GROUNDING WORK.

Focus on your actions. Only yours.

He is of no consequence - we can all see that - it's you that really has to start Believing it, instead of wanting to Believe that it really just doesn't matter. There is a difference.

Wanting it to be so - and believing/feeling it from the inside out to be so. Different.

((Hugs))

Tu.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-10-2011
Wed, 01-19-2011 - 6:39pm

I am soooooo glad that you were not at home on New Year's Eve - that's all I've got to say.

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