Bear with me... my story
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Bear with me... my story
| Fri, 03-19-2004 - 10:15am |
I had an affair with a MM for two years. When the affair started I was in a live in relationship. After about a year I ended my relationship and moved out on my own, but continued the affair... it was MM's turn next, right? The complicated part (?) was that I knew this man's wife and kids and saw them almost everyday, and we all lived in a very small town. Anyway.... He kept telling me he was looking for an apartment, and that he was going to leave her as soon as he found a place. He always went on about how they couldn't stand each other and they were only together for the kids, and that it was all so horrible at home. Poor MM. I helped him try to find someplace to move to, but there was something wrong with everything he looked at. Then one night he had to cancel plans with me because he "had to" take his wife out to dinner. It was like someone just turned on the lights in the dark room I had been standing in! If you and your wife just can't stand each other THAT much, you don't force yourselves to go out to eat without the kids. He may not have been super happy, but she was thinking things were okay. I ended it that night. Not just because he was jerking me around, but it was the first time I realized she WOULD be devastated if she found out, and that if he waasn't in a affair, he wouldn't be talking about leaving. Well, after about two weeks of not taking his calls, he sent me a letter telling me he had moved out and was living in an apartment one town over. He wanted to see me so we could work things out. I called him and agreed to go over to his place. Almost as soon as I walked in the door - it was all about if we could have sex. Uh, NOOO! We talked for a few minutes, but I had to get out... everything was different, I saw him for what he really was and it made me sick that I had fallen for it, and enabled it for so long. He swore that he was ready to make the changes neccesary for us to be together. Well, we'll see, I said. I left and didn't see or speak to him for a couple more weeks. I decided to stop by and talk with him again (about a month after he moved out) and the apartment was empty. The landlady was painting and said he had moved back. Because I didn't jump on the band wagon right away, he went right home. Couldn't have been so bad there if he had an out, and didn't take it. He still occasionally emails me ( I don't respond) about how much he misses me and wishes we could be together, about how unhappy he is and how meaningless his days are without me in them. He is still with his wife and living at home. What we had seemed so right at the time... like soulmates... so comfortable and relaxed, could talk about anything with him... he was so caring and supportive of me. Romantic... and the sex! WOW! But with his wife he was demanding and arguementative. He would complain (whine) that he had to do his own laundry (poor thing) and made it sound like she wouldn't do it for him. That b*tch! Turned out he did it himself because he had a pet peeve about it not being removed from the dryer IMMEDIATELY and folded( I sometimes use the dryer as the dresser, it seems! lol!) I also found out he had all the shelves in the fridge labeled with the names of items that should be on them.... Oh my God..... If we had ever lived together, how long would it have been before he started looking again for the perfect woman? I've decided that any man that is willing to cheat on his wife isn't the kind of man you want to be involved in. Real revelation, huh? I learned alot, that's for sure. I don't know if I could say I wouldn't have done it had I known how it would turn out ( I think I really always knew how it would turn out) but I do know that I will never do it again. Ever. It was wonderful to have a romance like something out of a Harlequin novel, but it was just as fictional. Thanks for letting me get that off my chest.

You sound like you have it together and that you have a great sense of humor.
You deserve so much more than he can give you, then again don't we all.