Been gone a while-Update

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-2003
Been gone a while-Update
Wed, 01-19-2005 - 2:19pm

Hello everyone,

I've been gone a long time. I'm not sure if anyone remembers me but I did get support and help from many of you. I just wanted to give a quick update on my situation.

I was having an affair with a single guy for almost a year. I finally couldn't take the guilt and after a few months of therapy I realized I wanted to tell my hubby. I had ended my affair about 6 months before I decided to tell my husband. When I ended it I was devestated. I thought I would never figure out what happiness is. I wasn't getting along with my hubby and I couldn't be with or without my "other man." When I told my hubby he forgave me. I was floored. I thought he was going to leave. I looked within myself and reflected on what exactly the other man had. I was surprised that he wasn't my type and I saw myself asking what the hell I saw in him. He had a lousy sense of style, LOL and he was always so dominating and could be very mean.

So there is was. I realized I was stopping myself from making my own happiness with a man who truly loved me for me. I was not allowing myself to open up to my husband and as a result I was seeking comfort elsewhere with a man who belittled me constantly and didn't let me be myself.

Here I am 1 year later. My hubby and I are getting along great and he is beginning to trust me again. I have been so good and have not been with anyone else in over a year. Now I am at a point in my life where I can't see myself without my hubby.

I'm so sorry for rambling. I just wanted to let those of you know that the pain will go away. Not all of you will find yourselves back with your husbands. But it will get easier. And when it does you will find such a sense a relief. Hopefully you will find yourself and what makes YOU happy. So I will think of all of you and my thoughts will be will all of you and those who supported me.

Arcy