been a while but really need your help
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| Tue, 09-01-2009 - 2:00pm |
oh ladies really need your help today. I am almost 8 months out of my A with my coworker now and working on my M. Things are going great with H i mean we are getting on better than ever and are closer than ever. I love him with all my heart....BUT and a very BIG BUT...why the hell am I still obsessing over Xap who i work closely with. I would never ever in a million years want to be with someone like him again and i absolutly hate him for the way he hurt me...it kills me even having to be civil with him for work reasons. But why i am still harbouring such hatred and anger for him...and sometimes even even wanting him to want me. I find myself looking at his profile online sometimes and getting jealous of stories of him and his new girlf...which i know is utterly ridiculous on my part. For those of you that dont remember his girlf is also a coworker who he started persuing the day after we split and started an R with her almost immediately....which absolutly tore my heart out because i was still in love

Gal -
I just wanted to send you a big hug and to let you know that I understand what you mean about getting them out of your head.
hey BD thanks so much for your words of encouragement. I am trying so hard on the NC...well not that i have much choice anyway because he refuses to make any conversation with me either. He shut me out cold and fast as soon as things started hotting up with the new co worker. So we have no contact except for
Hi gal who is trying to get unconfused and seeks clarity,
I can’t imagine how difficult it must be to work in such close proximity to xAp.
Whether you think you can or you think you can't you are probably right. A parrot can repeat what it has learned but the mark of true intelligence is applying what is learned.
I am almost 6 months out and understand what your experiencing.
I just wanted to add on to my previous post (as if it wasn't long winded enough) that under lostagaingal's "And So the Withdraw Begins" is a response by cl_lovelystarr that talks about how painful it is to realize that you were not special. Just wanted to suggest reading that thread too.
E1
Whether you think you can or you think you can't you are probably right. A parrot can repeat what it has learned but the mark of true intelligence is applying what is learned.
thank you so much you dont know how much your reply means to me tonight :) Thank you also for taking the time to read my past posts and remind me..it was a BIG help. You are so right...it is definitely the attention i am missing and that whole "in love" eurphoric feeling that occurs at the start of a relationship. I am not making any excuses for my A but all i know is that myself and my H had no intimacy, romance etc for years
oh ED im so sorry you had to find that out :( Although it probably emphasis even more how lucky you are to be away from him.
You go grl,
I'm glad I read your old threads and was able to catch that. I think it's easier when someone is outside the situation can stand back and look at the whole picture. From your previous threads, you've been struggling with this issue for a while. I'm glad a light bulb came on for you but that only happened because you are being honest with yourself and were ready to see it.
Ramble on becasue you were talking about very positive, enlightening info. and it's going to help someone else when they read it.
You got it. Go with it and run with it. You have the for real deal at home and you know xAP is just doing all that cr*p to get what he wants outta the next victim.
You can have what you want with your hubby. It will take some time, work and lots of communication but when you get it....it will be soooooo much more and meaningful then what xAP gave you. You will get to the point that you laugh when you see him trying to pull the wool over his GF's eyes. What he is doing is superficial and meaningless and they don't have what you have. I bet they wish they did. If GF is smart, she will figure it out before she gets hurt. If not, well that's her choice.
All I can say is you've got it now...you've really got it now. I only read a few of your treads and threw a suggestion your way. I'm thankful to help but you did all the hard work of soul searching and being honest with yourself.
Much love and I gotta say it again...You Go Gurlllll!!!!
E1
Whether you think you can or you think you can't you are probably right. A parrot can repeat what it has learned but the mark of true intelligence is applying what is learned.