Been a while!! Some Questions
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| Fri, 12-24-2004 - 10:59pm |
Hi everyone. Firts of all, MERRY CHRISTMAS!!! I haven't posted in a while, which I guess could be good since I haven't felt like I needed to right? Actually, I've been a little ashamed because I haven't ceased ALL contact with MM. (Well I have, but he hasn't, and I always respond to him for some reason! I'm so weak!!) Wednesday night he called my cell from his work, not expecting me to answer cuz I usually work late on Wednesdays and shut my phone off. I caught him off guard when I answered, I said hello 3 times before he said anything, then he told me he was just calling to hear my voicemail and was gonna hang up. Makes me wonder how often he does that. Then yesterday, my day off, he stopped by again. (Yes I still let him in! Stupid I know!)Let it be known that with these little visits of his NOTHING HAPPENS!!!! No hugging, kissing or IC at all. just talking! The latest is this.... He said that his W (my X friend) wants him to call me and tell me that our relationship never meant anything, that it was a big mistake, he never loved me etc.. etc... and she told him she won't feel better until he does that with her listening. He told her that he can call me and say that, but it won't make it true. SO, since we all know how nutless he is, and won't stand up for himself, I'm really expecting to get this phone call. If it happens, what should I say? Especially if she's listening in? And why on earth does she think this would make her feel better when she knows its not the truth? I don't get it! Maybe just because she wants ME to believe it's the truth? Anyone know??
Also, he told me that a couple days ago he let his good friend, A woman, read some of the letters I wrote him. Said he wanted her to let him know if I sounded as genuine in the letters as he believed I was, or if she thought it was just fantasy talking. She told him it sounded like we belong together. Then he told me that he keeps "trying" to do the right thing by his family, but every day he wonders if the "right" thing is really the "wrong" thing. I don't know what's going on in that mind of his. At this point I just feel like he is one f****ked up confused guy.
Despite his visits and our last conversation, I am really doing very well moving on. Yes, I still have hope but I'm not dwelling on it any longer. I'm moving on and just seeing where I end up. In fact, he seems more depressed than I, and I think that bothers him. I think he thinks he's losing me, and maybe, very slowly, he is. I hope everyone out there is getting through the holidays. I know it sucks feeling lonely at this time of year. I'm glad I have my kids. I'm also thankful I've had all of you this past month!!! I thought I was done needing insight, but I guess not. I just don't get him, or his W for that matter! Any words of wisdom? And what difference would it make what his friend thought of my letters? ahhh, the drama!!

Pal
Keep on moveing Mr Nutless is not worth your time tell he grows a pair and deals with his marriage by ending it TOTALY AND LEGALY IN THE EYES OF THE LAW.
Marry Christmas
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