Being An Afterthought
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| Thu, 03-18-2004 - 11:33am |
I will get over it! I will snap my rubberband on my wrist when i obsess about him; i will say my mantras and prayers. But most of all, i will say to myself: Loving me and being with me is a priveledge and one that XMM no longer deserves.
The hardest times are when the phones go silent--he used to call me mulitple times a day on my three telephones; and when the email is nothing but SPAM! But little by little, those hours of the day, when i used to hear from him, are merely becoming hours in the day now that pass uneventfully. One of these days, i won't look at the clock at 6 p.m. and know he is going to call on his way home from work. It's a process!
I am strong right now. I will be weak again today. (I was weak yetterday and emailed him information on an NCAA Tournament Pool I am organizing--of course, he didn't respond). But I will try again tomorrow. I will come here instead of wanting to talk or write him, We will all be ok.
All my love,
Clarice

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Wow!!!! What a great point.
I hurt too, but know this is the place--and for you too--that God wants us to be in right now. If you think of it that way, it hurts less, that there is some devine plan out there that has it all figured out and all the answers.
i give up. I don't have answers any more. I have to let go and let someone else take charge of this thing. It hurts too much.
xoxox
Clarice
LOL.
Clarice
I hate seeing someone else in the same living hell that I am in, but like you say, God wants me here right now. I am here because I choose to be....even though at times it does not feel like it.
Jazzdiva
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