Being Positive

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2011
Being Positive
6
Thu, 01-17-2013 - 3:07pm

Hi everyone hope everyone has a good day. I thought I would chime in and share. It is true somedays I am sad and emotional then some days I pick myself up and tell myself that I am strong I can do this and get a positive attitude. I know xap watches my everymove when I am outside doing laundry or just watering my plants he keeps trying to talk to me and ask me if I feel better and for hugs. I just keep going on with life like there is nothing wrong. I know he is trying to wear me down or break me. I am not going to let him have that satisfaction. One of you said that in a reply that there is no reasoning with people like this and I have come to the conclusion that you are right. I cant reason with this man it is all a big ego stroke for him he even tries to talk to my hubby. If that isn't an ego stroke I dont know what is.. I Just keep on keeping on hubby and I are going to go for a walk at the beach today with our dog that will be fun. Just staying positive :)                

Peace Love Andie

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2011
Tue, 01-22-2013 - 10:01pm

 Thanks Sunny :) I am doing just that being confident! That seems to get his attention not in a bullying kind of way but a you look good kind of way and making an ass out of himself in front of his friend and the other neighbors kinda way . That isn't what I find to be creepy about the situation. what I find creepy about the situation he is trying to befriend my parents! WTH why? I dont understand that. I just cant seem to wrap my mind around that. It's just crazy. Sunny he hasnt hurt me he has just threatened me in the past saying he was going to do something he didn't say what and I asked him if he was threatening me and he didnt answer he just hung up... I dont know what that means.. I dont know if he will try to hurt me or not I have no clue. I am just being strong and confident woman and working hard in life. Just trying to keep on keepin on. Hugs :)

 Peace Love Andie

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2012
Tue, 01-22-2013 - 10:28am
Andi I’m sorry this man makes you feel frightened and you feel like you are walking on egg shells around him. The best way to predict future behaviour is based on past behaviours. If he has physically harmed you in the past then you NEVER be alone in his company again. If he has not then it is highly unlikely that he will in the future. Nonetheless I would still advise you to stay as far away from him as you can. When you reject people like this, they project various tactics on to you which are intended to intimidate and scare you. He can see that these tactics are working through your body language, that’s why he keeps doing it. When you have to hang out clothes, or walk past his door etc. as you are doing it tell yourself calmly and silently “I am a calm confident woman” repeat this over and over. Try it, your head goes up, your shoulders go back and you look exactly that, a calm confident woman! When he sees that his pathetic boorish bully tactics are not affecting you he will soon tire of it. Keep note of his bully tactics but not him, he really is a trivial, pathetic human being. Ignore him Andi, focus on you and your family. (((Hugs))) Sunny Soon Xxx
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2011
Sat, 01-19-2013 - 12:23am

Hi Sunny and thanks for the reply :) You are absolutley right on everything you said. I am starting to see what a creep he really is and in all honesty it is actually scary. XAP is getting creepier and I am walking on egg shells. How could I have been so stupid..The things he has told me just gives me the chills I ust to think it was flattering but now it just makes me sick my instincts are trying to tell that something is wrong. I know that now. I cant help it I am scared of him I dont know how far he will go with this. The main thing is to avoid him a disease. I will keep you all posted on to whats going on. I am just trying to keep on keeping on with my life.      Hugs!!

Peace love Andie

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2012
Fri, 01-18-2013 - 1:05pm
Good for you Andi, You ARE strong and you CAN do this! Your xAP is doing this to you and your family because he is a bully. He is looking for a reaction, because he has nothing better to do. By fearing him you are giving him a power over you that he simply doesn't have. It sounds to me that you are now seeing him as he really is - a pathetic, insignificant, bully. Keep ignoring him, keep recording every threatening, meancing behaviour he uses to intimidate you. He is just doing this because he is not in control of you anymore. Don't live in the shadow of his self inflated ego or in fear of him. You are in control of you now. You have the power now because you can see him for what he really is..... Don't give him any importance Andi, because he doesn't have any. You will be ok Andi, just keep ignoring him, he will get bored eventually and be off in pry of the next one.  Keep on keeping on.  (((Hugs))) Sunny Soon Xxx
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2011
Thu, 01-17-2013 - 7:54pm

 Hi Clarity thanks for your reply. You are right he is stalking me I cant go outside with out getting hassled. Like this afternoon I had to wash my work clothes for work tommorow and he creeps up on me asking me what am I doing and that I do alot of laundry so what!  I should not have to explain myself to him period. Why does he think I have to tell him and why does he have to leave his door wide open when I walk by so he sees me? It is really uncomfortable he makes me nervous because he calls me out or I should say seeks me out. I am being strong Clarity I just dont know what this man wants with me and my family. I cant react because that is what he wants and that is to upset me. I found out that is the sick way he gets his jollies. I wont let him win.  hugs to you too.

Peace Love Andie

Avatar for wClarity
Community Leader
Registered: 11-04-2012
Thu, 01-17-2013 - 6:56pm

Watches your every move?  More like stalks your every move.  What a creepy character, and yeh, doesn't sound like the type you can reason with, for sure.  Staying silent and avoiding eye contact is still your best bet.  

Glad to hear you staying positive and strong, and that you and your hubby are a united front.

((hugs))
Clarity 

Community Leader,

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