BEYOND depressed

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-24-2008
BEYOND depressed
69
Wed, 09-23-2009 - 10:21am

Where do I begin....I've been in an A for 7 months now (we're both M).

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-18-2008
Wed, 09-23-2009 - 12:10pm

Hi SG,


You’ve had what we call here a D-day. I can imagine how much you are hurting as I also had a D-day.


You probably don’t feel like reading right now but it would help you tremendously to scroll down the page to the “Healing Library” it has a thread called “D-Days” by cl-lovelystar.

Whether you think you can or you think you can't you are probably right. A parrot can repeat what it has learned but the mark of true intelligence is applying what is learned.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2007
Wed, 09-23-2009 - 12:27pm

>>"Will I ever get out of this black hole?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-24-2008
Wed, 09-23-2009 - 1:26pm
First of all, I want to thank all of you for your help.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-04-2009
Wed, 09-23-2009 - 1:43pm

(((((skootergirl))))) I am still a newbie myself, so I don't have
much advice for you... All I can say, we're here for you... I can understand in how much pain you are

HUGS

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-24-2008
Wed, 09-23-2009 - 2:20pm

Thank you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-06-2007
Wed, 09-23-2009 - 6:19pm

Hi skootergirl,


Believe me, we all know your pain. I know that doesn't help much, but please know we are here to help and support you get through this.


Ok, here's the tough stuff. He went crawling back to his marriage after your affair was discovered. If you had been in his place - what would have done? Could you have said goodbye to your husband right then and there? Are there children involved? Likely, both of you got caught up in fantasy of the affair and told each other eventually, you'd be together. BTDT. But when the stuff hits the fan, when one or both AP's realizes what the cost is - they back off from the affair and decide to stay with their spouse. I've been around the block a few times, I'm no spring chicken and of all the affairs between

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-24-2008
Wed, 09-23-2009 - 6:42pm

Bandk73,


Good advice.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-06-2007
Thu, 09-24-2009 - 2:03am

skootter, it will

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-24-2008
Thu, 09-24-2009 - 9:45am
Well, I had a meltdown last night.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2009
Thu, 09-24-2009 - 12:15pm

Hi skooter (((hugs))) I am so sorry you are going through this, it sucks. Right now you are still in contact with your xAP going through what I call the 'Romeo and Juliet' phase. He ended the A but he's still hooked on you so he keeps trying to contact you to get his addiction 'fix', even throwing a few meager crumbs of hope your way by discussing the sad state of his marriage in the hopes of keeping you waiting in case his Plan A doesn't work out. What a great guy. *rolling eyes*

I'm sure you know that this contact is painful for you and you need to put a stop to it, like now.

Don't answer any more of his calls, skooter. Don't answer emails, or texts. He ended it, he must put his big boy underpants on and address his marital issues without your presence - it's just not fair to you!!

Hang in there sweetie, we're on your side :)

xoxo

trixie



Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, it is about learning to dance in the rain.”
Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, it is about learning to

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