Big Melt Down

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-15-2010
Big Melt Down
12
Sun, 11-14-2010 - 7:42pm

I thought I was doing ok...but after dinner i just lost it.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2006
Sun, 11-14-2010 - 7:48pm

Hi Honey, I'm here.

Onward and upward.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-15-2010
Sun, 11-14-2010 - 7:52pm
Thanks energy....nice thing about this board someone is always here ..I am a little better now...you are right ..a good cry helps..
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2006
Sun, 11-14-2010 - 7:59pm
There you go! One little revelation at a time = healing. I could have had my xap. He divorced, spent a year on his own and then came back for a relationship. Sounds great eh? I could not say yes to this mess! One woman's BH = another womans BH. As the saying goes.....be careful what you wish for.
Onward and upward.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-28-2010
Sun, 11-14-2010 - 8:01pm
Dear Mark,

You were never free to be taken, or he available to give to you.

You both belonged in other worlds. Worlds with real families, real relationships, real troubles, real joy. Real Life.

That's the reality.

And soon, if you work hard enough to clear the fog and re-gain perspective you'll completely embody the knowledge, that the fantasy would never have made a good reality.

Seriously, what would you each have won? Someone capable & willing to go behind the backs of the one's who loved them the most. The one's you were each committed to. You would each be partnering another person who rather live in a fantasy world that take the dignified route of either ending your relationship, or sticking with the commitments you had each already made. We were all cowards. Sorry, but that IS the reality.

((hugs))

TU.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-30-2010
Sun, 11-14-2010 - 8:22pm
MC. Huge hugs to you. A good cry is definitely needed. This is all so very fresh and the surge of emotions is overwhelming. I too have asked the same questions of exAP but it doesn't matter. What you need to focus on is why you got involved in the first place. Work on any insecurities you have. Write a journal. Be patient with yourself and don't hold back your emotions. Keep coming here.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2010
Sun, 11-14-2010 - 8:34pm

hi cloud!

i cant add much to what has already been said...just know we have all been there too!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2010
Sun, 11-14-2010 - 9:24pm

Hey!!!! (((((((MC)))))))))))

THIS IS EXPECTED!!!!!!

If you're having this melt down of emotions...It's because you KNOW it's ending. So THAT's a good thing!

Its also normal to be so mad at yourself - turning it towards you because by putting it all on your shoulders - youre empowering yourself to fix, fix, fix it!

Why DID you ever get involved in something like this? That is an AWESOME! question to ask yourself ,one which with alot of time, input and reading here - you WILL get to the bottom of which is fantastic! So patience on THAT one. :)

Why doesnt he want me? OH HONEY!!! I KNOW! RIGHT??!?!? The question of VALIDATION of YOUR worth through someone else. As if

Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart... Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens. I started looking inside and went NC October 15, 2010
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2010
Mon, 11-15-2010 - 6:43am

It hurts, MC. Your tears and sadness are so understandable. But you are going to be okay. I promise.

Oct. 12, 2010 -- began my personal search and rescue mission.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-15-2010
Mon, 11-15-2010 - 8:10am
Thank you TU. I know you are right.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-15-2010
Mon, 11-15-2010 - 8:14am

Thank you Melinda, Michelle, Cait and Always...

For all your love, support and insight.

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