Good for you... you've taken the first step to getting your life back and regaining your dignity and self respect. I know it's hard... all of us here know how hard it is. This is your battle to fight now, but we will all be here for you.
A very insightful poster here said this to me and I read it often: “That’s why it took great courage for you to end it. Because courage is what is required when we don’t really think much of ourselves and yet opt to make a serious decision, in our own best interests. For what you had to do was take a leap of faith, faith in yourself. You had to act as if you believed you were worthy, even though you weren’t so sure. And what’s comforting you now is the awareness that you did the right thing, for you. You stood up for yourself. You removed yourself from the indignity of your situation…”
You saved yourself from the wreckage and it's time to heal. Let yourself feel. Let yourself grow. It's your time now.
Kudos to you for taking the first steps to ending the affair. It is hard, very hard. But in your heart of hearts, you know it has to be. Like Jane said, it takes courage. It is hard to break away from the emotional hold the affair had on us. We know it's in our best interests, but the addiction feel goods always tug at us. Like you, I gave so much to my xAP. I gave him so much of MY time that I lost myself for those 3 years. You are making an enormous step in the right direction by doing something for you. Going back to school for what you want is so empowering. Hats off to you!
Weve all been where you are and its a daily struggle. I too have a wonderful H but it will always lack the connection and passion that XMM and I shared. Its hard to let go of that. You wonder if you will ever be able to feel so "alive" again. I dont have that answer but I can tell you that for each time I felt "alive" there were 10 more times where the A killed me. It tore me apart and has been the hardest thing that I have ever had to navigate through.
Come to this board, post, respond, whatever but just know that you are not and never will be alone. You can email me directly through my profile if you ever feel the need. The ladies on here are wonderful and will help you through these dark moments.
I continue to be blown away at the similarities we all share on this board. So many times, I've read how we as smart, educated women cannot shake lose of the affair addiction. We can run a company, be married, raise our children but yet, we get tangled up in the gobblety gook of an affair and find ourselves trying to escape. oct31news, you sound as though you knew what you had to do to save yourself. Congrats to you. It's my hope that other posters here dig down deep and find the conviction to move ahead with their own lives.
Hi Onajourney-
Good for you... you've taken the first step to getting your life back and regaining your dignity and self respect. I know it's hard... all of us here know how hard it is. This is your battle to fight now, but we will all be here for you.
A very insightful poster here said this to me and I read it often: “That’s why it took great courage for you to end it. Because courage is what is required when we don’t really think much of ourselves and yet opt to make a serious decision, in our own best interests. For what you had to do was take a leap of faith, faith in yourself. You had to act as if you believed you were worthy, even though you weren’t so sure. And what’s comforting you now is the awareness that you did the right thing, for you. You stood up for yourself. You removed yourself from the indignity of your situation…”
You saved yourself from the wreckage and it's time to heal. Let yourself feel. Let yourself grow. It's your time now.
Hugs,
NC/LC since January 28, 2010
http://secretlifeofjane.wordpress.com/
NC/LC since January 28, 2010
http://secretlifeofjane.wordpress.com/
Onajourney,
I'm proud of you, girl! You've reached the point of no return and when this happens, severing all avenues that could lead you back there,
~Iddy~
Thank you to both of you.
OAJ,
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Again, I am so proud of you for making these changes in your life. This takes real courage, and also shows faith in yourself and
~Iddy~
Hi journey
Kudos to you for taking the first steps to ending the affair. It is hard, very hard. But in your heart of hearts, you know it has to be. Like Jane said, it takes courage. It is hard to break away from the emotional hold the affair had on us. We know it's in our best interests, but the addiction feel goods always tug at us. Like you, I gave so much to my xAP. I gave him so much of MY time that I lost myself for those 3 years. You are making an enormous step in the right direction by doing something for you. Going back to school for what you want is so empowering. Hats off to you!
Again, thank you to Iddy, Band and Oct.
Onajourney,
Weve all been where you are and its a daily struggle. I too have a wonderful H but it will always lack the connection and passion that XMM and I shared. Its hard to let go of that. You wonder if you will ever be able to feel so "alive" again. I dont have that answer but I can tell you that for each time I felt "alive" there were 10 more times where the A killed me. It tore me apart and has been the hardest thing that I have ever had to navigate through.
Come to this board, post, respond, whatever but just know that you are not and never will be alone. You can email me directly through my profile if you ever feel the need. The ladies on here are wonderful and will help you through these dark moments.
Hugs,
GMLB