blue eyed babe - ?
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blue eyed babe - ?
| Mon, 11-01-2004 - 2:45pm |
You have said that you wanted the A to be over bc you wanted to work on things with your wife, right. You also stated that you were just in the A for sex only. Did you ever tell your OW that you loved her? When did you realize that you wanted to work on things with your wife? Did it just hit you or were things getting better for the two of you and then you realized. I am just curious bc you are one of the few men on this board. My XMM didn't ever tell me he wanted to work on things with his marriage or that he ever felt gulity. I was the one who felt guilt. I said that I wanted to end things but I would call him back. When I finally did call him back (after we ended things - eventhough we didn't come out and say it- he didn't want to talk to me after three days before telling me he was thinking about me all weekend. From a man's point of view - what does that mean? Do men just get sick of the wishy washyness. He told me the last time we fought that he can't win with me. I just can't make up my mind so I guess he did it for me, right. Just wondering. He couldn't leave his wife right now he said - He said he just doesn't have the ba@@@ to go in there and do it. He always was wishing she would do something to him so he could leave her. - I understand how he feels bc I felt the same way about my husband. So you see he didn't want to stop talking to me bc of the marriage thing but I guess he already had his wife to nag him on things - so I guess he didn't need another nagger.

Hahaha...
I know you are looking for blueeyedbabe...but after reading your post, I could not help but wonder if we hooked up with the same man?
My xOM got tired of me breaking up with him all the time, the flipflopping was driving him insane...finally responded by e-mailing, phoning less...stepped up the pressure that I finally "end" my marriage. To him, he figured if I were free and clear, then I would no longer break up with him (he filed for divorce third month into our affair). As well, he did not feel guilty about his behavior whereas I was turning into a train wreck (even though there was great friction between myself and husband). Our 7-month affair was mostly emotional...we have gotten physical twice during that time.
Anyway, the OM is LONG GONE, bye bye... After reading your post, I wanted to gag...was my xOm a liar? I swear...he said the same things.....
Hey Blueeyedbabe.....is there a book that men are passing around, things to say when involved with a woman? Damn, the lines appear to be "scripted".....hahahaha...
Either case, I'm going to try to answer all aspects of it.
I never told my xOW that I loved her. And she knew what my intentions were for they were her intentions too. After a few encounters, I started to feel disgust with myself. And I started to see dispite my W's shortcomings, she is a great woman and didn't deserve what I was doing. One of my problems was (and still is) trying to get my W in a romance sense. We make love maybe once a month. I guess at the time it was easier to step out than try to work it out at home. She also nagged me more than once and that just made trying less appealing.
I'm not crazy about wishy washyness either, but to your defense, you're not just picking out a certain dress for a ball, you are deciding if you want to turn your world upside down.
B@lls to leave the marriage? It takes big ones, whether it be for the right or wrong reasons.
Do you ever miss the affair, and if so would you do it again? I just want to know if men miss the OW as well.