Bodhi, welcome to TweenerVille!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2009
Bodhi, welcome to TweenerVille!
11
Fri, 09-24-2010 - 5:55am

My Dear Bodhi,



I've been waiting all week to be able to officially welcome you to TweenerVille. I see the party has already started, but you deserve a thread that is ALL ABOUT YOU. So.......



   ~Iddy~ 


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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-2009
Fri, 09-24-2010 - 6:40am

Bodhi,



Congrats to you and be proud of yourself becuase I certainly am!!!! You set your sights on what you wanted and where you wanted to be and you did it.



There is a huge difference between just counting NC days and counting HEALING days. You have put to work into healing yourself. You took the time to really understand what got you into the mess we have all been in and put for the effort to recover from it.



Stay here on EAS and help those who come behind you!



Congrats!!!



GMLB

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2010
Fri, 09-24-2010 - 7:22am

Thank you!! I was like a child on Christmas morning - jumping out of bed and running down to turn on the computer!

I went back to read about my own journey again last night on the eve of checking into the beautiful accommodations in Tweenerville. Which are amazing by the way!!!

June 18 "It has to stop" - those were the first words I typed on EAS. I had to laugh because in that first post I said "I'll need the help in the next few weeks to get this man out of my life"! The next few weeks...or months :) Gonebabygone was my first response and she pointed me to the HL where I pretty much read everything I could - over and over (thanks Gone!). In that first post I also said "I'm hoping that I have finally reached the point where I've had enough." Wonderful Iddy's first response to me was "Hoping isn't going to cut it, honey" You were right. :)

June 20 I had to take it "one minute at a time" and Jane lovingly told me to not think in terms of "never" and "forever" (thank you Jane - also for providing me additional reading on your blog) At the time, all I could think about was that closed door in my face. GMLB said she hoped I stayed here and posted often. Have I done OK GMLB? :)

June 21 I had the realization that I was in a very toxic relationship and received so much help from everyone. That day, I also said "I'm at work and I feel like I am going to fall apart shortly" I learned a lot about triggers at that point and realized certain times of the day were bad for me to be at work. Changing up the old schedule helped with that.

June 25 I was thankful to have a week under my belt. I thought at that point I was going to be able to just disappear from XAP's life. He thought otherwise. When he got back from vacation, he left me a string of voice mails. He kept calling and calling. I knew at that point I needed to say the words "don't contact me" I did just that on the 27th.

June 30 the stalking started - that was XAP's method of fishing I guess. No doubt his pride got in the way of calling, but he sure didn't want anyone else to have his "property". I really think he thought that I had something else going on. He always did when I pulled away. Little did he know, he actually did me a big favor by driving by my house and my office. It not only scared the hell out of me, but it also made me realize how pathetic my life had become.

July 11 - 2 weeks - "This is the longest stretch I've ever achieved" :)

July 14 - getting tired - "I know that I'm in the fight of my life for my emotional self, but right now I feel like I'm in the 12th round of a boxing match and I'm about to go down" Everyone at EAS helped me back in my corner, wiped my sweat, gave me water and assured me I was doing great.

July 21 - need some air in my waterwings - I smelled the crack pipe and looked for XAP's car down the street. Brought to mind the fact that I was no longer a part of his life and I don't know what he is doing every day. Once again, all of you were there blowing up my wings.

July 24 - snowballing - poor me, my basement flooded. I had some major realizations that I didn't need XAP to take care of my problems.

On July 26 why_ask_why wished me a Happy Monday - out of the blue. That random act of kindness I will always remember. :)

July 28 - fantasy vs. reality - this was so good for me to get out there. And I got a thumbs up from Clarity! It was like being knighted.

August 1 - if Bodhi can do it - at this point I decided that my alter ego was sometimes stronger that I ever felt. When I feel weak, I think of EAS and don my Bodhi cape.

August 8 - 6 weeks - I was feeling very blah - I posted that the last 7.5 years were a "colossal waste of time" Mom_meandmyboys - whom I have tremendous respect for - no one says it like it is like you :) told me she was watching my progress. That gave me a needed boost.

August 25 I had to actually see XAP for the first time (apart from his drive bys) at a golf outing. Again, everyone was there for me and I got through it.

Sept 10 - the power of 4 words - I was feeling up and down. "I have a choice" I kept repeating to myself.

Those were just some of the threads I started - I can't even begin to count the threads that have given me wisdom. What an amazing community we have. Luvin - my first cyber friend:) you have helped me so much. Dee - I love your wit. E1 - you are amazing. TU - I have learned so much from you. Alice - I'm so glad I didn't offend you when I told you to turn down the drama! Foggy - your male point of view has helped so much. RBM - yours too - and you thought I wouldn't make it at first :) MO - I've been following behind you. NC - my special Aussie mate. :) And new friends - Iggy, Garfy, Lolly - everyone.

And Iddy - my kindred spirit - what would I have done without your help? I know I charged out of the gate - amazing what a lot of false starts will do for you - but for the first time I felt like there was a "team" in place with an amazing coach. :)

This is starting to sound like an acceptance speech and the band is playing me off the stage!! Sorry for the length :)

Thank you everyone - vets to newbies - from the bottom of my heart.

Love,
Bodhi

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2009
Fri, 09-24-2010 - 7:29am
Community Leader
Registered: 06-08-2010
Fri, 09-24-2010 - 7:48am

Bodhi,
I am so happy for you!! And as a newbie, you have already been such an encouragement to me...I wasn't sure what kind of people I would find over here at EAS since I had been posting at MAS for the past 6 months or so. I had posted here that first time back in June and met Iddy, but I wasn't ready to end my A and she came across to me as being mean!! Lol...little did I know that her up-front, straightforward approach would be exactly what I needed! And Bodhi, your post of encouragement back on Wednesday when I had my first LC encounter with XAP really really helped me!! So, many thanks to you and I hope that over time, and through my healing process, that I can get to know you and everyone here on EAS better!
Thanks again, it means so much to me!

Hearts <3
NC since 9/18 - free to be ME!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-20-2009
Fri, 09-24-2010 - 8:21am

Bodhi, hon-
You soooo rock. Your tweener wings are so well deserved and I'm pleased as punch that you're sporting them now. Your post of your progress and thanks made me weepy! Happy tears. I will tell you that I have always enjoyed hearing from you and find your strength and determination very inspirational. EAS is lucky to have you on the starting line-up!

Deepest respect and super-duper congratulations,
Dee

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2009
Fri, 09-24-2010 - 8:29am

<>



Hah! I can picture you on stage, dressed to the hilt,

   ~Iddy~ 


iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-2010
Fri, 09-24-2010 - 9:22am

Oh gosh Bodhi, your acceptance speech rocked!

Garfy


NC since 13 September 2010 and trying to feel great...


Fate d

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-23-2010
Fri, 09-24-2010 - 9:52am
Bodhi, I am really proud of you. You are loving yourself, how about that.... Congratulations and know that you deserve a man who will adore you and love you and you won't have to be hidden from his RL.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2010
Fri, 09-24-2010 - 9:59am

Yup - tears rolling down my face as I type.

Dear Bodhi,

You've been as inspiring, as you've been inspired. You were there for me when I needed you, during one of the darkest times I have faced during my ending. I won't ever forget that. Many times I think, wow - I wish she was closer so we could hang out, like 'real' friends. I have so admired your courage & commitment to ending your affair - I was a doubter, and you alone reminded me that it is never too late to make the right decision, and that will a little support ANYTHING is possible. You're a hero to me, and through your own actions have shown me how to hold my head high after dragging it so darn low.

Enjoy this day. You've earned it through blood, sweat & tears.

Much Love,

TU.

LC/NC since April 14, 2010

"I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it."
— Maya Angelou






Edited 9/24/2010 10:58 am ET by transcendingus
LC/NC since April 14, 2010

"I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it."
— Maya Angelou
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-31-2009
Fri, 09-24-2010 - 2:51pm

WooHoo Bodhi!

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