boredom is not good
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| Tue, 01-05-2010 - 10:45pm |
I'm back to work and back to too-much-time-on-my-hands after about two weeks of being crazy busy with the holidays and moving houses; man, being bored is not good for me. I realized one of my big faults is having a way too low threshold for boredom. I really set myself back yesterday and today --- I lurked at my x's myspace, I went for a walk around a place where I had the slightest inkling he might be... you get the idea. I was chasing the "high". Merely out of boredom, I think. I certainly don't want X back. Don't want the A back. So... um... why am I being such an idiot? Gosh, I think it's just because I didn't have a proper backup plan in place. Like, "when bored, do THIS (insert something productive.)"
To that point, I remember reading in a self-defense book (I think it was The Gift of Fear by Gavin de Becker - highly recommended) that said that a lot of self-defense means thinking about what _might_ happen ahead of time, and mentally preparing a response. Being caught off-guard is a huge deficit in protecting oneself. This advice would be so aptly applied in recovering from an A.
So, as a side note, I was buying my lunch and had to endure listening to my X on the friggin' radio while waiting in line to pay. OMFG. Payback is such a b*tch. I CANNOT wait for the time when that sh*t doesn't make me want to hurl.
Blessings and support sent out to all you ladies and laddies who had to endure so much more these last few days.
Blech,
Dee

Hey Dee :)
Yeh, boredom and also being suddenly alone with ourselves can come and whammo...blindsided by the emotions we've been stuffing to get through.
We always advising to keep busy...keep occupied...but there comes a time when we will finally find ourselves with nothing to do...got that last sucker of a tumbleweed in the tight corner that's just out of reach and has been bugging us, and the drawers could not be more organized...now what.
Well, I am totally the opposite. I love being alone and doing nothing. Commotion and chaos is something I absolutely hate but that's probably due to raising 3 children on my own and never having had one moment to myself. ;-)
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If you already know you are the antsy type, having a backup plan is a very good idea. If you want to walk around, go outside and take a nice stroll, or always have a good book stuffed into your bag. Pull it out and read when there is spare time
~Iddy~
"The Gift of Fear" is probably one of the best books I've ever read.
Comments and
Thanks to all for the support. Yeh, I am the antsy type. But I'm also bummed out, so doing _anything_ productive takes a fire under my a$$. I'm so easily distracted; reading is almost impossible nowadays -- and motivating myself to organize drawers, heck, it'd take a miracle. Seeing clearly what a procrastinating, easy-route taking, fantasy having, pain-avoiding mess I am is really difficult -- but, addressing these issues are going to help me not only in recovering from the A, but in my life overall. I look forward to seeing the outcome.
RE: X and the radio. He's a musician in a popular band. Yah for him. sucks for me. ;)